two weeks; more or less

My estimated due date is fast approaching.
And I am not ready. 
Let me announce this with greater clarity:  I am NOT ready. 

Although the alternative is NOT great -- keeping baby #3 inside until I am DEFINITELY ready ... because she would come out like some smelly, hormonal, hairy teenager at the age of 14.  And then, I may get stretch marks.  Plus, that's like fourteen more summers in Texas!

So I ask, what fun would that be? 

Therefore, I must suck it up and get ready. 

As of my last appointment, I am beginning to dilate. 

And that is ONLY because the doctor probably initiated that when he reached up to "feel" the baby's head.  shit.  that hurt.  Why didn't the doctor just break my "water" and get this baby moving on its way out?  Because ONE is never really ready to go through the rigors of labor and delivery, right?  So just have a baby when you are NOT ready.  It is much easier than waiting around for the due date. 

Baby #1 --  my husband was in Los Angeles.  Yes, that's right.  California.  With a two hour time difference.  A 4+ hour flight to DFW.  And I am sure he drank beer (or something a bit stronger) the entire flight.  It isn't confirmed.  But I have my hunches. 

Baby #2 -- after settling me into my room, my husband went home to pick up a few things (like beer, wine and champagne), check on the existing children and grandparents, do some house stuff, clean the pool, fiddle in the garage... meanwhile, baby #2 decided to go from 2 cm to 10 cm in 45 minutes.  And, too bad for me -- my cell phone was dead and I was too sick to think about calling him anyway. 

Baby #3 -- yet to come.
Although, husband did leave me a note yesterday morning before he left for work (an extra hour early):

Dear Easy-Going, Loving Wife:
I have three business trips back-to-back this month.  When do you think this baby is arriving?  Is it possible for you to hold her in until one of the Saturdays?  I really should be in on these negotiation/training trips.  Just let me know your thoughts!

Anybody want to come sit with me in room 201?  I will provide food and beverages.  Gratis.