Here I sit, after an unexplained leave of absence, and ponder.
It has taken some time... and I have finally accepted the reality that...
PUBLISHER'S CLEARING HOUSE IS NOT KNOCKING ON MY DOOR!
Nor is Oprah.
Nor is Dr. Oz.
Nor is Dr. Phil.
I don't even hear so much as a tap, tap, tap. So, it is time to take control of my life and start pounding on their security-guarded, ten-camera, fiberglass doors. I am going to pound until they answer their dadgummit door!
I am not quite sure what I wlll say to Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil. But I am going to beg Oprah for just ONE of her favorite things (the amazing t-shirt bra?). And beg that PCH will hand me a well-earned gigantic check for 1,000,000 dollars.
Dear PCH,
It's Me. And I am patiently waiting to be surprised. Please make it a great surprise.
See you on 2/29!
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