lice is nice

Dear God,

I promise to stop ingesting my entire day's worth of calories before I go to bed.   Because, I swear, the food makes me CRAZY.  I mean, CRAZY DREAMS all night long. 

* Forget about the heartburn.
* Forget about the potential weight gain.
* Forget about the tooth decay.

What about the dreams?  Please God don't let them mean something!!  Because I really do not have the required amount of time to deal with the following mishaps.

Hope you're listening,
Your fellow listener,
~ m

So, last night, I dreamt about LICE.  Lice that erupted from white dandelion puffs.  The puffs that you blow and instead of spreading pollen -- it spread lice!  They were everywhere and I couldn't get the lice out of my house or children's hair.  And as I scrubbed and tugged and pulled and combed and weeded and separated my little one's hair strand by strand she announced, "LICE IS NICE".  And I laughed.

I woke myself up laughing. 

The dream prior to lice was about someone breaking into my home... and I grabbed a pistol.  But I could not remember the "rules" governing southern law. 
Can I shoot them with their back to me? 
Or do they have to be facing me?
And should I aim at their feet to deter the flee?
Or their arms so they can't run out the doors carrying baby gear?
And I couldn't comprehend why someone would break and enter for a wooden highchair or a used baby bjorn???
So I put a sign on my door, "8423 has better stuff -- they have teenagers".

Once and for all, I believe I have learned my lesson, NO FOOD AFTER 5pm.  Or at least four hours before slumbering.

PS  Please don't analyze my dreams, it really was the food intake prior to sleeping!