multiple choice.

1.  A.
or
2.  B.
or
3.  BOTH.

That is the question I am currently faced with.  Cliche upon cliche, time flies the older one becomes.   And everyone says so.  And everyone says to new parents or parents of young children, "Enjoy their childhood because it all goes by too quickly."  And yes, it is true.   Why does their childhood pass so much faster than our own?

So, I am preparing for my XX chromosomal future.   Probably inundated with excessive hormones.  The weepy, manic, clingy, distant, raging, uncontrollable, emotional, irrational, sane, insane, rollercoastery, and even-keeled kind. 

A.  Do my future hormonal XX's receive this one as a gift?  {I just love a matching trio!}

B.  Or this one?  Is it wrong to hope that we skip the hormonal drama and just prepare ourselves for their college life?  In which B would be very apropos!

Or A and B.  A to get us through the hormones.  And B to get us through college.  Hopefully, not A and B at the same time.  Then, I would have to start drinking!  And clearly, there is not a "BITCH 4/DRUNK 4" Tee to be found!!

Dear Readers,

There was a Mommy who got knocked up and

SOBER she became-oh

*S*O*B*E*R*

*S*O*B*E*R*

*S*O*B*E*R*

and *L*A*M*E*-oh was her name-oh!

Is it merely a coincidence, or is it irony, that SOBER contains the acronym S.O.B.? 

For example, "S.O.B.-er, I forgot where I placed my wine glass?"

Dear Readers,

{aka Dear Mom and Dad,}

I apologize for my recent hormonal/emotional/thoughtful/insightful/nice blogs.  It is so "CHICKEN SOUPY FOR THE SAPPY".  It is so unlike me.  It is so unmedicated.  I believe it is menopausal and I see my life flashing before my eyes.  I never dreamed I would be "middle-aged". 

I am totally mellowing out with age. 

And I can prove it:  Daughter #1 arrived into toddler-hood with her first word being SHIT.  It is documented in her babybook as "sit".  "Your first word, 'sit'.  You loved giving commands to your dog, Fluffy."  {now, only IF we had a dog!} 

Daughter #2 arrived into toddler-hood with her first word being BUBBLES.  And it is documented in her babybook accurately as "bubbles".  {now, we will just believe that it was for her love of taking bubble baths or blowing bubbles outside.  However, I believe it had to do with the hops and ale carbonation that she found so appealing in bottles, cans and glasses throughout her days.}

We will anxiously await Daughter #3's first word!

When I lost the use of my two fingers, I was asked to write a meaningful story to be published in "Chicken Soup for the Soul" ... only two bad for me, losing two fingers did not push me over the edge into sentimental sap-ville.  The editors changed my story.  The editors changed my life. 

Just being pregnant pushes me over into craps-ville.  Hmmm... Is there a "Chicken Soup for the Hormonal Soul"??

Love,

~ m

Waiting for Oprah to call!

SIX MORE days till the First Day of School! SIX more days till the First Day of DETOX!