memory loss

by choice.  perhaps?  study is inconclusive. 

Certain moments trigger my memory.  Random thoughts.  Obscure moments.  At one time I high-fived myself for having an amazing memory, and then I had children.  And have totally lost my mind, memory - short and long term, and the brain appears to be stuck in pause mode. 

The only person out there doing the "happy dance" is my husband.  Yup, that's right ... wife loses brain and husband is happy-dancin' around town.  And that is only because I now cannot dredge up some unfortunate past situation regarding his family.

You know the kind of family that finds itself into every conversation:

him:  "I really would appreciate it if you could help me with the pool."
me:  "Well, if your lazy ass sister hadn't visited ten years ago... then, maybe, ...."
him:  "What does SHE have to do with the pool?"
me:  "Well, if she didn't swim in it, then, maybe..."
him:  ????????
me:   "It's totally related!!!!"

Discussion is CLOSED.  I think I may have WON. 

But one night, I had a recollection.  In public.  In company that I don't know well.  And this company surely doesn't know me. 

The group began to tell stories.  Stories that I listened to... as any wallflower would do.  I like to listen.  Participating is something I do not do well.  But the conversation turned to DWIs and Police Encounters.  Why? 
I do not know.
And for some unknown reason, I felt the need to chime in with my "secret".

"What I do when confronted by an officer while speeding:
Why, I talk DEAF, of course. 
Doesn't everybody?"

And so, in a group of about 20 people, I spoke in my DEAF voice.

And the entire room of 431 people fell silent.  Dead silent.  And as 862 eyes rolled in my direction... considering that everyone has both eyes... I laughed.  Nervously.  And then, I ran.  Out the door.  And to my home. 

Upon arriving at home, a friend (among the small group of 20) called to say, "You're Good.  Were you ever deaf before?" 

"Thorry...ong number.  CLICK".

for the love of...

TUESDAY.

Yep, that's right, people.  It is Tuesday. 

Usually, my weekends begin on Mondays at 8:30am.  It is the day that I am on my own for about 5 hours.  5 glorious hours.

My wish is that today is boring.  No excitement.  Because yesterday continued to worsen.  If that is even possible?

At 4pm, I was given an information sheet to complete so that I could drive on an upcoming field trip.  That fieldtrip being today. 

So I am filling out the form.  Blah. Blah. Blah.
Name/Address.   CHECK.
Auto Insurance.   CHECK.
Driver's License.  CHECK.

Oh, shit.  It's expired.  EXPIRED.  How did that happen?  I did not receive my friendly little reminder in the mail to inform me of my license expiring on my last birthday.  Where's my friendly reminder???  What?  There's no flippin' reminder in Texas?  You are just supposed to remember that in six years your license is going to expire?  I cannot even remember next week, let alone six years!!!

Well, in Michigan, where I come from... we received reminders.  {PS:  TXDOT and my husband pointed out that who cares what they used to do in Michigan.  Perhaps, Michigan has changed their little friendly reminder procedure!  Well, they didn't have to be rude about it -- I was just letting them know that I didn't receive my reminder.} 

The Department of Transportation office was closed.  Of course.  But some random mom that I started to dish my 'woe is me' story to suggested I try the transportation website. 

Saved by the internet. 

In Texas, you can renew online.  Even if it is expired. 

After my seventh "In Michigan..." speech, my husband politely interrupted:

"I don't care about what Michigan did, because you clearly cannot follow directions anyway.  With or without a reminder.  As I recall, before you even got your Texas license -- you had an expired Michigan license BY NINE YEARS.  They had put you in the "DECEASED FILE".  And your plates were expired BY TEN YEARS.  Please, just try to remember when your new license expires."

so many celebrations,

so little time...

2 March -- Dr. Seuss's Birthday

8 March -- Mardi Gras

9 March -- Ash Wednesday

11 March -- Ellis Island Day (in our house)

13 March -- Day Light Savings

17 March -- Saint Patrick's Day

20 March -- First Day of Spring

26 March -- Last Quarter Moon

30 March -- First Reconciliation

I totally overdid the whole Dr. Seuss day...  a fun, surprise lunch packed for school:

Green Eggs and Ham  (green hardboiled eggs and ham slices)

Pink Ink  (strawberry yogurt drink)

Blue Goo (blue jello)

Red Fish, Blue Fish (goldfish crackers)

The Cat in the Hat's Hat (strawberry/dip layered to resemble a hat)

So... now what am I going to do for all the other "fun" days this month?

I learned my lesson.  Start out with NOTHING... and then there are ZERO expectations. 

That's Right, Readers!  ZERO expectations! 

The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the FOURTH day of Christmas, my true love gave to me ...

FOUR SUGGESTIONS
Three pixies

Two chocolates

And a holiday memory

* And all suggestions resulted in:
{1.  No; 2.  No; 3.  No; 4.  And a  h*#$ No}