Dictionary

Disclaimer: I make up words - like all the time. And, frequently, I make up my own definitions to existing words (which absolutely makes my husband insane). Oh, I sometimes (gleefully) even mispronounce words on purpose just to "irritate" someone who wants to feel superior! (like the time I repeatedly [at least 10 times in 3 sentences] said "PILOTS" for "PILATES" just to piss off snobby co-worker who walked away from me in a huffy puffy strut! Take that!)

During discussions, husband often asks me to re-define my words so that he can debate with me according to my "world of language". Very kind of him to enter my figurative world! His is way too literal!

So my three year old has recently joined in the 'word art'. She saw a police woman for the first time yesterday at a 'Safety Fair'. Police woman approaches, "Hello, girls! Thank you for joining us today." I say hello and motion for my girls to do the same.

"Hello," mumbles the eldest daughter. Too bored and hot to be polite, obviously.

"Hello, POLICE MA'AM!" shouts the middle daughter. ("Excuse me, Talulah, but she is a police woman," I quietly point out.)

"I KNOW IT," loudly acknowledges middle daughter. "She is a MA'AM, a MA'AM, I said."

Police Ma'am and I share a laugh as middle daughter continues on with her "new word" about the mailman and how our mailman is also a Mail MA'AM!