for the love of...

SOMETHING. 

I am sure there is something out there. 

Driving home from school yesterday, I was in my typical 'chauffeur' seat and listening to the chatter coming from behind.  And thanking God that it wasn't banter or hitting. 

My oldest was recapping her day.  Hour by Hour.  And then we began to discuss her reading for the week; the vocabulary, story, setting, characters, etc. 

She admitted that their were some difficult words in the story and the bad ones were to be skipped/ignored.

"What bad words?" I ask.

"Ones that I cannot say," she reminds me.

"Like what?" I push.

"Do you emby?" she says.

"Do I envy?" I repeat.

"No, do you emby?" she repeats.

"Do I what?" I wonder.

"Do you M.B.?" she repeats again.

"Do I M.B.?  What is that?" I ask.

"You know!" she exclaims.

"No, I don't know M.B.  What is it?  What does it mean?" I want to know.

{ M.B. = mother board?  mother b***h? mother bastard? mister bastard?  mrs. b***h? What the hell is M.B.????  She said it was a bad word!}

"Mommmmmm......" she is clearly more exasperated than me.

"What?  I don't understand what this M.B. word is!" I retort.

This time she said more slowly and more enunciated, "D - U - M- B"!!!

Holy frickin' SOUTHERN ACCENTS!  

these boots were made for walking

Daughter #1 has the Southern accent but zero love for all things Cowgirl or Cowboy.  You will not find boots in her closet.  Nor a hat.  Nor western clothing.  However, hubby and I know she will find herself in Cowtown on a Friday night when she turns 18 -- checking out imposter cowboys in tight Wranglers at "Big Balls of Cowtown" or "Electric Cowboy".

Daughter #2 has the Southern accent and a big love for BOOTS.  Cowgirl BOOTS.  And hats.  And western clothing.  She dons her boots to go "shopping" at TARGET.  We get some looks... because she wears them with anything and everything.   She will be asking for a horse soon.  I feel the begging.  And we know she'll be two-steppin' her way around Cowtown. 

Daughter #3 .... to be determined.  But I feel the western way of life continuing onward in an amplified mode. 

How can children develop a Southern accent with two Northern accentless parents? 

Our future:  Wranglers, Ropers and Boots

Fixin' - it's a Southern Thing

We fix dinner. We fix a crack. We fix a hole. We fix the car. We fix (many) a drink. We fix anything that is broken (sooner or later).

After thirteen years, I am still considered to be a "Northerner". However, if we are concerned with geographically-correct placement, I am a "Midwesterner". I have a slight, very slight, drawl only when speaking with other Southerners, and only if they happen to have a serious accent. At home, we speak Midwestern, which is basically a dialect with a non-existing accent.

One day, Victoria came home from Preschool announcing that tomorrow is "Shoooooooooooow -in - Taaaaaaaaaale" day.

me: "What kind of day is it?"

Victoria: "I said, shoooooooooow-in-taaaaaaaaale." (duh) "The kind of day that you bring in an item to show the class and then you have to tale all about it." "It's the best kind of day."

me: "Oh!"

So the following day Victoria took an ammonite.

Ahhh. Cute. Victoria's first drawled word.

I heard it again. Victoria came home singing "Jingle Bells" -- a tune stuck in her head since her class was preparing for their Christmas program.

"jangle bails, jangle bails, jangle all the waaaaay..."

And again, "I ahm fuh-iiiii-ve yeeears old".

Now, I am nauseated, not naw-ze-ay-ted.

When I first landed in Fort Worth, I worked with thick Southern accents. Initially, I had a difficult time processing their sentences if the accent was too deep. A co-worker was rushing around to end her day. She announced "I'm fixin' to go on vacation". I stared at her. "Fixin' what?", I wondered. What would one possibly be fixing on vacation? That is definitely not my idea of a vacation, a working vacation.

I am praying that Victoria doesn't learn and use this particular ear-numbing Southern word, "fixin'". How will we explain that word to our non-Texan relatives? Recently, I have heard fixin' spewed from two classmates' mouths. The two classmates are now on our "Do NOT Play with" list.

I am still in awe. Victoria learned to speak from her Northern parents. Yet, she has developed a Southern accent via osmosis, against any accentless persuasion . It is inevitable that she have a Southern accent, after all, she was born a Texan. She is a Texan. She is not from Michigan. She is not from Montana. She is Texan, born and raised.

And I know little sister, Petra, will soon utter her first Southern drawled word. Please don't let it be fixin'.