21 days

60 days of summer vacation have already vanished.  Just like that, they are gone. 

OCD.

I have this eccentric habit of counting... as I may have mentioned before, seven times.  Ceiling tiles in a waiting room.  Floor tiles in an examination room.  Stairs.  Who needs a pedometer?  Days.  Hours.  Countdowns.  Trees.  Flowers.  Stepping Stones. 

We have had fun days.  We have had lazy days.  Family days.  Zoo days.  Aquarium days.  Museum days.  Lunch days.  Picnic days.  Swimming days.  Playdate days.  Birthday party days.  Drive-in nights. 

We have NOT had a "real" vacation ... by "real" I mean like leave the city, metroplex, state, region, country kind of vacation. 

My children are beginning to panic awaiting the first day of school in which they are required to write about their summer vacation using adjectives and other colorful descriptions.  They are aware of the stiff vacation competition.  The show-offs.  The bullies.  The wannabe's.  The imposters.  The pretenders.  The Vlasic Pickle children. 

I feel for them.

"My Summer Recap as told by V"

"Being pregnant and adding a baby to the house does not make for a fun summer vacation.  Vomiting, bed rest, bodily changes that nobody discusses, baby crying, smelly diapers, no sleep, foggy brains, forgetful moments, grumpy people, and other things that I cannot talk about in public. 

But my family is planning on a trip to Ravenna, Italy in May, so I will be absent.  And I don't really care about the attendance.  Besides, maybe we'll travel south to Rome and I'll be excused, pardoned, and forgiven by the Pope."

PS  I hope the principal doesn't call me on this "yarn". 
PPS  Perhaps V's Summer Vacation will be used in a Birth Control Pamphlet.
PPPS  Planned Parenthood is on the phone now... gotta go!

concepts of life

Recently, I have been completely and totally off-schedule.  That is, IF I actually HAD a schedule.  I would have been completely OFF. 

My husband has been home on vacation.  And since I currently cannot travel outside of a twenty mile radius, we had a staycation at home.  Inside our home.  Not downtown at a bed and breakfast.  Not in the country.  I think I will travel to the Maldives when my ten months/280 days are up.  ALONE. 

I am on the verge of NESTING.  But I cannot seem to find the time to NEST.  Because I am too busy cleaning up after several people.  Because I am preoccupied with cooking three meals a day AND for some reason, cereal and chicken nuggets are not a part of this world.  Because I am on bedrest AND I am so NOT complaining. 

So, hubby is NESTING for me with projects that have been written in ink (or blood) on his "Honey-Do" list for two years and two months (NOT that I am actually counting!).  

He is returning to work after a long stay-cay.  And on Sunday -- the eve of his return to working and cubicles and offices and computers and meetings and some other technical analytical words in his world -- he announces, "This will be a sad day when it ends".

I was thinking aloud AGAIN and I accidentally responded, "NOT for some of us". 

OOPS.

I am really looking forward to my inpatient hospital stay.  Maybe I can stay longer?!

OOPS, again.

School's out, school's out

It has been one day, and one day only...

Q:  Why is it that teachers are the only people NOT ready for September?

Our summer vacation officially begins.  The classes have ceased.  The classrooms are emptied.  The school doors are locked, I'm sure.  The school has a "one-way" door policy option at this point. 

School is OUT.

The entire school year has come to an end.  I must remember (hourly):  "The days may sometimes be LONG, but the years are SHORT".

What are we going to do for approximately 90 days?

Do you realize how messy my house is going to be?

Do you realize I cannot imbibe at this time?

How many summer camps can I register the children for?

OK, OK, It is NOT OK ... to wish away the days, which turn into weeks, which become months, which become years and that only adds another bloody candle to the cake and soon the bloody smoke alarm will ring.

It is going to be a great summer!  It is going to be a great summer!  Ahhhhh!