Networkers

Don't you just hate meetings.   Don't you just hate meetings that waste your time.  your energy.  your listening skills.  your attention span.  your good mood.  your caffeine. 

"Good Morning, everyone.  And thank you for coming on this dreary fall day," says the meeting host.

"Before we get to the recording of minutes... we have some unofficial business to discuss."

"Who is available to host, volunteer, donate prizes, set-up, or clean-up for 'Casino Night'?" 

"I will.  Last year, it was such a drunk fest.  'So-n-So' hooked up with 'So-n-So's' brother." 

"No.  way.  I thought 'So-n-So' was with Mr. Y since he is the HOT new divorced dad on campus."

"He is?  What happened to Mrs. Y?  Didn't she just get back from Argentina with her newly plastic surgeried nose, eyes, buttocks, and chin?"

"She went back to Argentina ... to live with the doctor.  Mr. Y didn't waste time to go out 'lookin' - I heard he was tired of Mrs. Y and her 3 ex-husbands anyway." 

"Excuse me, what type of prizes are you requesting for the tables and the silent auction?"

"Last year, the top prize was two 50-yard line tickets to the Panthers.  And Mrs. R bid $3500.  But Mrs. L outbid her at $5600.  Apparently this wasn't about the Panthers.  It was about Mrs. R sleeping with Mr. L." 

"Mrs. L has been on a rampage... she sold Mr. L's car and bought herself a new Mercedes.  She even tried to put the house up for sale but she couldn't find the deed before Mr. L arrived home."

"Excuse me, when exactly is this 'Casino Night'?

"It's on Friday, November 20th.  Last year, it was held in February.  But we thought all of the parents should get together before February.  Mrs. B had put in a request for November because the end of the year is too late to start anything."

"Start what?" 

"Oh, Mrs. T, have some more coffee.  This really isn't about 'Casino Night'."

Coffee in an IV won't cure this.  Don't get me wrong, I love to discuss people I loathe.  Just not people I know nothing about!