What do you do with a lot of ribbon?

You make a ribbon topiary!
Of Course.

As we prepare for another household birthday, I wanted to create a unique "centerpiece" that could be used for four out of five birthdays in our home.  (And if you live nearby, I would be happy to lend you our newly decorated centerpiece for your pink festivities.)

I love. love. love. PINK and GREEN.   Love.  Thus, Pink and Green is our color scheme. 

Have a 'looky' at the fun ribbon:

In progress:

And the final product:

"A Birthday Celebration Centerpiece"

HappY CelebratinG !!!

Answer the Door.

Here I sit, after an unexplained leave of absence, and ponder.

It has taken some time... and I have finally accepted the reality that...

PUBLISHER'S CLEARING HOUSE IS NOT KNOCKING ON MY DOOR!

Nor is Oprah.

Nor is Dr. Oz.

Nor is Dr. Phil.

I don't even hear so much as a tap, tap, tap.  So, it is time to take control of my life and start pounding on their security-guarded, ten-camera, fiberglass doors.  I am going to pound until they answer their dadgummit door!

I am not quite sure what I wlll say to Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil.  But I am going to beg Oprah for just ONE of her favorite things (the amazing t-shirt bra?).  And beg that PCH will hand me a well-earned gigantic check for 1,000,000 dollars. 

Dear PCH,
It's Me.  And I am patiently waiting to be surprised.  Please make it a great surprise. 
See you on 2/29!

Out to Lunch

Hurry.  Hurry.  Hurry.
Always in a rush.
Rushing for nothing, really.

Anybody else have those kind of moments?

After school, we were in a "rush" to start and complete homework.  We were in a hurry to start, complete, and eat dinner.  We were in a rush to finish a project.  To do dishes.  To make lunches. 

My daughter unpacked her backpack and brought me her lunch box.  I checked it.  Pretzels left over from today's lunch.  Check.  Water bottle replaced with a new water bottle.  Check.  I put the lunch box in the refrigerator.  To get it off the counter and out of the way.  And there it stayed.

Daughter:  "How was your day?"
Me:  "Busy.  And yours?"
D:  "Do you really want to know how my day was?  Because I am tellling you that it was great until 11:45am.  And do you want to know why it was horrible after that?"
Me:  "Wellllll...."
D:  "I'll tell you why.  BECAUSE I'M STARVING.  I MEAN REALLY STARVING.  LIKE SUPER, SUPER HUNGRY!" 
Me:  "Oh no!"
D:  "I wondered why my lunch box was so light.  I had no idea what was going on."
Me:  "It's an early April Fools!"  ha ha ha.  "Thank goodness you had pretzels and water still in there."
D:  "My friends couldn't believe their eyes.  How embarrassing!"
Me:  "You could have at least eaten your pretzels!"
D:  "I couldn't eat after looking inside my empty lunch box."

double. Or plus one?

I really really suck at my part-part-part-time job.

I am never punctual.
I am never consistent.
I am never remembering.

Being a "Tooth Fairy" is tough!!

My daughter has lost 5 teeth in three weeks.  Who does that?  And what does she have -- "Super Teeth"?  Or is it just a test of the reality of the "Tooth Fairy"?

OK, I know, being a "Tooth Fairy" is not difficult.  Actually, it's quite easy.  You wait until the newly detoothed child is asleep.  You slip into their room.  You grab the tooth.  And replace it with the monetary gift of choice. 

So, HOW can I possibly mess this job up ... each and every time??

1.  Totally forgot about the tooth.  Even though it was pulled at the Dentist office less than 6 hours ago. 

2.  The tooth fairy forgot again.  Tooth Fairy slipped money under pillow during breakfast.

3.  Tooth Fairy went to bed and never woke up ... until she heard the "SHE FORGOT AGAIN" scream at 6 o'clock in the morning.  Tooth fairy came the next evening.

4.  Tooth Fairy remembered the MONEY.  But she forgot to take the tooth.

5.  Tooth Fairy took the tooth but forgot the money!  She needs to revisit.

In our house, we have a tooth fairy rule that was established at the very beginning... 5 years ago.  "IF the TOOTH FAIRY doesn't come, then she brings DOUBLE the next night."  

So that brings us to the fifth tooth...
And that brings me to my question:
If the detoothed child receives one dollar, and the tooth fairy forgets one night, then the following night she brings two dollars.  But what is the amount to be received if the tooth fairy forgets to visit on the second night?  Does she double the two dollars, now making four dollars for the third night?  Or does she just add one dollar, making three dollars for the third night?  I know how to double.  But does an eight year old? 

Let's vote:
A.  Four Dollars    or      B.  Three Dollars

I now propose a toast to all past, present, and future "Tooth Fairies".    Because being a tooth fairy is tough!
And financially draining, in my situation!

wacky wednesday waffs - my all time favorite

wacky wednesday waffs

wacky wednesday waffs

Go and get yourself a bottle of wine.  Hurry, it is exactly:  1-11-11 at 1:11 a.m.

And open a second bottle of wine on 1-11-11 at 1:11 p.m.

{Pause "Days of Our Lives" and ... oh, wait a minute!  I realized it was the wrong year AFTER the second bottle of wine.  At least, I didn't remember before the first bottle was tapped.}

HaPpY fErMeNtInG dAy!

wacky wednesday waffs

Now that the holiday season is officially over, I say, "Screw the New Years Resolution"!