recaps of the last six weeks

an anniversary moon



an anniversary rainbow

and anniversary blooms

An anniversary.
came and went.  dawned and dusked.  ebbed and flowed.  yinned and yanged. 
I love the anniversary wish list of traditional gifts; I love reaping anniversary gifts of chrome, wood, iron, steel and leather.  Especially, if that anniversary gift is a brand new shiny vehicle with a big red bow and KEYS!

However, it is really the "list" that I find very unique. 

Math Problem #1:  Let's say you are married 1x @ 5 years; 2x @ 8 years; 3x @ 11 years.  Which gift-year would you get on the third marriage on the eleventh year not including 1 year of dating? 
A.  Steel     B.  Opal     C.  Musical Instrument     D.  Silver

Year        Traditional (U.S.)       Traditional (U.K.)       Modern (U.S.)     Some of my ideas 
1st                Paper                       Cotton                             Clocks                Basically, what     
2nd              Cotton                      Paper                              China                   WIFEY-poo
3rd               Leather                     Leather                          Crystal, Glass      WANTS 
4th               Linen, Silk               Fruit/Flower                  Appliances             
5th               Wood                     Wooden                         Silverware                
6th               Iron                         Sugar                              Wood objects         
7th               Wool, Copper        Woollen                         Pen/ Pencil sets
8th               Bronze                     Salt                                 Linens, Lace
9th               Pottery, China        Copper                          Leather goods
10th            Tin, Aluminum       Tin                                  Diamond jewelry
11th            Steel                                                                Fashion jewelry, accessories
12th            Silk                           Silk/ Fine Linen            Pearls, Colored gems
13th            Lace                                                                Textiles, Furs
14th            Ivory                                                               Gold jewelry
15th            Crystal                    Crystal                           Watches
16th            Tourmaline                                                    Silver Holloware
17th            Furniture                                                       Furniture
18th            Turquoise                                                     Porcelain
19th            Aquamarine                                                 Bronze
20th            China                     China                             Platinum
21st                                                                                  Brass, Nickel
22nd                                                                                 Copper
23rd                                                                                  Silver plate
24th           Opal                                                               Musical Instruments
25th           Silver                       Silver                            Silver
30th           Pearl                        Pearl                             Diamond
35th           Coral, Jade             Coral                             Jade
40th           Ruby                       Ruby                            Ruby
45th           Sapphire                                                      Sapphire

50th           Gold                       Gold                              Gold

55th           Emerald                                                        Emerald

60th          Diamond (Yellow)  Diamond                     Diamond

65th          Blue Sapphire                                              Star Sapphire (Gray)

70th          Platinum

75th         Diamond, Gold                                            Diamond, Gold

80th         Oak 

90th

***  notice there isn't even a gift suggestion for the 90th year?!

***  the jewelry companies would prefer bling to be added before the 25th anniversary

***  however, modern US #10 states "DIAMOND" but, ladies, do not wait til #10 to trade-up because by year 10 you will have too many committments tying up your dollars.  Get the DIAMOND before you get married!!

***  was this list compiled by a male?

***  a musical instrument on the 24th anniversary because one or both of you is hard of hearing by then.

 A simple new list:

Year                 HIS preference           Her preference

1st                     leather/lace                  jewelry

2nd                    see above                    car

3rd                    see above                     house

4th                    see above                     plus enhancements

5th                    see above                     see above

6th - 100th        see above                     see above

Happy Mother's Day

to all of the wonderful Mothers, Grandmothers, Aunts, Friends, and Women who are just like Mothers!

I hope you all have a fabulous day created just for you.

And may you all get something equally fantastic from your spouses/partners/significant others.

And, if you need any help...

Allow your toddler to handle your existing but slightly outdated digital camera and have her play "cheese" with it.  She is bound to break it so that you may receive a new and improved model camera on your special Mother's Day!!

Or give whatever your heart's desire new to your toddler and she will ensure you receive a new one!

And if you are lacking in the available toddler department:

My toddler is available... for a short time only.  Ten mini sessions of fifteen minute increments available.  Sign up now and may all your Mother's Day wishes come true.

A pet portrait

My cousin is an awesome artist/painter.  She paints pets.  These portraits are amazing!  I am in awe of her talent.  And I am now gathering some photographs of my pets to have their portraits made as gifts to my children and husband.  It is truly the perfect gift for people who love their pets and for people who already have everything!

Fat and Happy...

... are the cats, the dogs, the kids, the hubby.  AHHH!  What a wonderful time of year! 

I hope everyone has had a memorable Christmas Holiday. 

Warmest Wishes for 2010!

PS  Santa, thank you for bringing me three karats worth of sparkly diamond earrings.  My husband swears he didn't buy them.  He has no idea where they came from.  But I believe.  So I know you were the one doling out this big, huge wonderful surprise!  Love you Santa!

sixty.two.days

1/6 of a year.  8 weeks and six days.  1493 hours. 

Christmas is coming!  Santa is coming!  The Griswolds are coming! 

Halloween is not even over and the Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa decor have hit the store aisles. 

Must start making lists.  Must start thinking about gifts.  Must start making more to-do lists.  UGH.  double UGH UGH.

The children have their lists already started (frankly, since the 26th of December 2008).  And this is a few of their minor requests after much contemplation and collaboration of three little minds:

* piano (since our family is totally ungifted/untalented/unmusical in this area)
* pony (a real live hairy stinky carrot-eating gigantic-dunging mammal)
* hermit crab (only if a pony is out of stock and undeliverable) - with its shell painted pink with green polkadots!
* puppy (preferably not stuffed)
* an art room (because it should not be located in the play room)
* a slide and heater for the pool (so we can swim year round)
* a home school (so we don't have to go to school)

What ever happened to simple gifts from the heart?  Homemade paper dolls?  Handmade skirts?  Hand knitted slippers?  Hand painted boxes?

What ever happened to easy simple gifts of Barbie, Little People, Legos, and Blocks?   The wee ones do get an A+++ for creativity.  I just hope they aren't too disappointed!

another year?

anniversaries are like birthdays... they keep coming.  even if you are single, anniversaries keep coming.  you know, three years since the divorce.  two years since last boyfriend.  one year since last romantic interlude (yes, code for ... you know).   and the anniversary traditional gift list should be for the married and the single.  because really, who wants what's on that list anyhow?  if you're single, you can buy yourself a gift - one that you actually want.  and if you're married, you can ... i don't know ... compromise!?!

First - paper
(I think this means:  GIVE ME SOME MONEY!!  I AM TIRED OF SHARING!)
[singletons:  GIVE ME SOME MONEY!!!  quite universal]

Second - cotton
(Is it GRANNY PANTY season already???  The honeymoon really is OVER!)
[singletons:  new clothes because i am sitting at the bar, listening to my favorite song on K13]

Third - leather
(Don't buy that WHIP!!!  I want a trip to Italy!)
[singletons:  leather pants, leather mini, leather thong... woo hoo!]

Fourth - fruit/flowers
(What's that?  a blossoming peach tree?)
[singletons:  yes, i'll buy my own damn flowers!]

Fifth - wood
(Honey, yes, I really do LOVE that 6 foot carved totem pole you created with all our heads!)
[singletons:  money - it does grow on trees!]

Sixth - candy
(Don't even think about it... but what it really means, I think, is to go somewhere that is like going to a candy store and that place is called NEW YORK CITY!)
[singletons:  yes, i can eat candy for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert without guilt!]

Seventh - copper
(Only if it cost a LOT of pennies ... like at least 100,000 pennies!)
[singletons:  MONEY]

Eighth - bronze
(that translates as a trip to Tahiti, honest, it is the best place to receive bronzed skin!)
[singletons:  fake and bake!]

Ninth - pottery
(time to replace the kitchen and its dishes/utensils ... because once you replace the dishes, you will need a new kitchen in which to 'house' your wares.)
[singletons:  piggy bank]

Tenth - tin
(no, we are not wisking away to OZ ... maybe they want us to drink more caffeine and alcohol!)
[singletons:  beer]

Eleventh - steel
(the steel doors to replace the wooden doors so that we can lock each other inside when their is an "ITCH" going on.)
[singletons:  Everclear!  steel:tin as everclear:beer]

Twelfth - silk
(self explanatory ... to cure the ITCH.)
[singletons:  SILK, lots of SILK - sheets, pillow cases, eye masks, robes, blankets, pajamas, boxers, thongs]

Thirteenth - lace
(self explanatory ... still curing the ITCH.  BUT I don't think men should don lace.)
[singletons:  fredericks or victoria's? red or black? alot or alittle?]

Fourteenth - ivory
(isn't that illegal?)
[singletons:  not white!]

Fifteenth - crystal
(isn't that illegal, too?  But I will take that trip to Barneys for new stemware)
[singletons:  scotch comes in crystal?]

Sixteenth to Nineteenth - ignored, not acknowledged, must be crises years.
[singletons:  not ignored - botox, restylane, lipo, tummy tuck]

Twentieth - china
(are we too old to travel to the far east?)
[singletons:  trade china and other valuables in for new sports car]

Twenty-first to Twenty-fourth - once again, ignored.  unaccounted for.
[singletons:  not ignored, adding to list - butt lift, more lipo, face lift, eye lift]

Twenty-fifth - silver
(there is a silver lining!)

"Watch-a-ma-call-it!"

I love my watch. I love my watch. (I love my husband.) I love my watch. (I love my kids.) I love my watch. I love my watch. I love my watch.

Timex Ironman Triathlon. Black. Velcro Band. 12H. 24H. Two Timezones. Indiglo. 100 meters. 100 lap memory. Lap/Split. Chrono mode. Timer mode. Alarm mode. 5 ALARMS! Alarm 1 currently set for CST. Alarm 2 currently set for EST. Alarm 3 currently set for England. Alarm 4 currently set for Slovakia. Alarm 5 ALWAYs set for Japan.

I have barely removed my beloved watch since July 11th, 1998. The day I decided to RUN a MARATHON. Never mind the small details, like I had never even RUN ONE FLIPPIN' MILE BEFORE JULY 11th.

A few years later, watch still on wrist, the Wedding Coordinator insisted that I remove my watch before "Our Ceremony". Like husband would have cared... he loves my watch, too! So, two minutes before strolling down the aisle, WC pried watch from wrist and I vehemently tucked it under my silk train (thank God for velcro). And thank God ONLY alarms 3 and 4 sounded during the LONG ceremony!

Since our wedding, I have received 37 WATCHES as gifts! Not from my husband, REALLY, he loves my watch! But from MY MOTHER and FATHER. From my In-Laws. From my sisters. From my Grandparents. From my NEIGHBOR! YUP, 37! Perhaps, these are HINTS. Because surely, they all remember that last year they gifted me with a watch as well.

PS Look for NIB watches on eBay!