for the love of ...

EMOTIONS!

Emoticons are the perfect addition to writing - texting - emailing;  especially when one may find it difficult to decipher sarcasm, humor, anger, etc...  So I am thankful for the creator of Emoticons.

The most popular being smiles and frowns... but I believe there is a greater need for more emotion!

: ) smile

: ( frown

Variations of those smiles and frowns:

: ~ )

: ~ (

and

: + )

: + (

but I am loving these assicons!!!  Assicons are here!!!

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

( ! ) a tight ass

(_*_) an asshole

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_)  money coming out his/her ass

(_?_) a dumb ass; a stupid ass

(_......_) draggin' ass

What kind of ass are you???

Happy Monday!

recaps of the last six weeks

18.  Reality Check?  Or could it be a Reality Gene?

Dear Readers (aka Mom and Dad):

Just when you think I have traded in sarcasm for sincerity, I'm baaaaaack!  I cannot believe I have been on my best writing behavior for ... well, far too many posts recently.  I need a Reality Check.  A good laugh.  And I have to say that I found it...

It may not be new.  But to me it is.  You see, I have been living under a roof without any leaks and getting out on some days is quite difficult.  My engineering husband has caulked and "great stuffed" every miniscule opening, crack, and line in the foundation, walls, ceilings, attic, etc.  I needed a bit of fresh air (although the thermometer says it is still 99 degrees!).

I visited a little ghost-cow-town of a place on a Sunday.  And when I arrived, I realized it must be owned by the Baptists (not that there is anything wrong with that) BUT every single place was CLOSED.  Not one storefront was open.  Sunday in the Bible Belt is QUIET.  Except the grocery store.  So what does one do when far from home and the only thing open is the market?  You go in.  And you browse.  For something, anything and nothing. 

And this is what I found; some good ole' TRUTH inscribed on a magnet.  My new truth.  The only truth.  The unspoken truth.  The whole truth.

I will write again soon. 

with love from south of the Mason-Dixon,
~ me

Isn't this the God-unspoken truth??

the derivational suffix

(Although this is an English lesson, due to the excessive use of ONE word ... this is rated PG-18 ... only for those who are eighteen and older ... and for those who do not easily pass judgement!)

The word of the month. A root word. A suffix. The word tends to flow freely from my lips as if i am reciting a beloved poem. It rolls off sweetly as if i am whispering the words "I Love You". Clearly, it just comes spewing from my mouth. I believe I was weaned on the word.

Ass. Not as in a body part (noun): bum, bottom, rear, behind, butt. Not as in a long-eared mammal. Yet, as in reference to a person (noun) or that person's action (verb).

My dictionary containing the profanity root word ass and its appropriate derivational suffix:

-ise; to make. assise. to make an ass. Please do not assise yourself in public.

-est; the most. assest. the most ass. Drunk friend C was the assest at happy hour.

-less; without. assless. without ass. Refering to one's junk in the trunk, "I'm not assless".

-ment; result, act of. assment. act of assing. The assment was inappropriate in public.

-ness; state of. assness. state of being an ass. Shopper lady's assness was unnecessary!

-ful; full of. assful. full of ass. What an assful one-sided conversation!

-ly; like. assly. like an ass. Another assly pick-up line!

-ify; to make. assify. to make an ass. See -ise: Please do not assify yourself in public.

-ism; belief, manner. assism. a belief in ass. Realism or assism, is it a fine line?

-ist; doer, dealer. assist. to be an ass. The ass- ist was busy pontificating.

-al; pertaining to, relating to. assal. to pertain to the ass. The assal's refusal was annoying.

-ology; study, science, theory. assology. the study of ass. The available online courses are biology, chemistry and assology.

-ity; state of, quality. assity. the quality of ass. His personality and assity is showing!

-hood; order, quality. asshood. the order of asses. This brotherhood of asshood is going to the dogs.

My dictionary using ass as the derivational suffix (without a precise definition, but all listeners understand its meaning): the most common verbiage heard in today's language. These derogatory words should only be used in the privacy of one's car, known as "car words". These car word expletives are necessary for keeping oneself sane. And once outside of the car, the smoke rises and all niceness returns to the tip of one's tongue.

dumb-ass, jack-ass, stupid-ass, freak-ass, lazy-ass, jerk-ass, crazy-ass, loser-ass, smart-ass, pompous-ass, skinny-ass, fat-ass, and insert-your-own-word + ass.