time

Eight months old.  Next week.

2028 is her high school graduation year.  And I only know this because I am always counting, making lists, and procrastinating due to my OCD capabilities.  However, my OCD seems to worsen in my foggy state.

I am cherishing my days.  No matter how sleep deprived.  And even if I occasionally call my husband by the name of John.  Which is clearly not his name.  Nor his middle name.  Nor is it even the name of an ex.  It is just a name.  I can claim temporary insanity. 

My little "little" is teething.  For six months now.  And this past week has been the absolute worst.  baddest.  horrendousliest.  You name it and it was it.  She screams.  And there is nothing I can do short of rubbing whiskey on her gums.  So, sleep is something I am currently not familiar with.  Truly, I see no end in sight. 

Please God grant me the serenity to maintain my sanity, hourly.

And the ability to remember what day it is.  And make lunches.

And Please God help me to remember my husband's given name!

And the ... awww, hell ... A-f-n-MEN.

ps  no children were given whiskey although you may have been rubbed down with whiskey if you were an infant in the 60s!

there are some things in life

... that make me think that I really want to have more little ones in the home.  The baby stuff that exists today is so fantastic.  So fun.  So non-birth-controlling!

Start wiring children for their college destination while they are in the crib! 

Hell, Baby Einstein did it with "Listen to Mozart and your child will be an amazing genius!"  (by the way, if you have any of those DVDs collecting dust in your home -- you can send them back for a full refund because chances are your child didn't become a genius by the age of 3.)



Plays the MSU fight song!  I love it!




the perfect pacifier



Start your college savings

Awwww!



Every girl needs a cheerleader outfit.  And boy, if needed.



Would totally push Nebraska... look at these adorable Cornhuskers!!

And adorable Aggie dogs!

And... whose mascot is this?  Is it Old Miss?  Tennessee?  I don't know, but I think these old men are kind of cute!!

I sure would like to decorate with these cute university items.  Can I justify a "Mascot Mobile" for my 8 year old?  Or too small university booties for my almost 3 year old? 

Actually, I probably can justify buying these cuties!  The children won't know that not every teenager doesn't have a Cornhusker Mobile in their bedroom ... because I will avoid "play dates" for the next ten years. 

Actually, I can justify buying any item.  Just ask my poor hubby.  Because I have an ongoing very long list of answers for ANY question he might toss in my direction. 

"Why exactly do the girls need Mascot Mobiles at their ages?" asks hubby.
"Well, you said we should begin introducing the children to different universities/colleges at a young age?" I reply with one answer from "the list".
"But did you really need to buy 25 Mascot Mobiles?" whines hubby.
"I couldn't decide which university to push, so I thought that with 25 Mascot Mobiles, they would have a good selection!" I diplomatically counter.
"But these are Mascot Mobiles, how are they going to help in deciding which university to attend?" questions hubby.
"Whatever Mascot Mobile they like the best, DUH!"  I proclaim.
"Huh?" ponders hubby.
"We are females!  Haven't I taught you anything about how the XX chromosomally proud make their decisions a.k.a. the 'cuteness factor' effect!?"  I announce.

I SPY ... a baby, a hospital, and a doctor

Five Months Old

My baby is five months old today.

Her smiles make my day.

Her grins are wide when her sisters are near.

I hug her tight savoring the moment.

For tomorrow she is one day older.

Early Dementia?

Signs that I am losing it:

1.  I told a mommy friend that we would meet her after "hockey" practice. 
Well, as far as I know, nobody in my family plays HOCKEY.  I don't even think it is hockey season.  I cannot even imagine where the word hockey surfaced from inside my brain?!  I was not even thinking about hockey.  The word just blurted out.

2.  I did an oversized load of darks.
Except I forgot to add the clothes.

3.  A friendly stranger asked me, "What is your baby's name?!"
With a serious straightface, I replied, "PEARL".  And although it may be her middle name, we don't even remotely refer to Alexandra as "Pearl"... we occasionally call her "Alex"!

4.  I wrote the date September 27, 2010 on a check yesterday.
The cashier kindly told me that I could not backdate a check by ten weeks.  So now I ask where have the last three months gone??

5.  After the cashier told me the exact date that we are currently on, I called "V's" school to see if I paid tuition this month because I could not believe that it was already the 10th of December. 
So, the lovely lady that answers the school phone informed me that I actually paid twice this past week... and would I like the second check to cover January's tuition?

6.  I took my Little "P" to her fun day school on Wednesday.
The school director smiled and politely reminded me that I was a day early.  But they indeed looked forward to seeing Little "P" the following morning ... at 9:00 am. 

7.  Currently I do not have a watch so I am usually early or late.  Never on time.  On Monday, I was really early -- by two months to be exact -- for a dental appointment. 
I was humiliated.  I have spent the week contemplating and fighting the urge to find a new dentist. 

Could this "mommy brain fog" be a post-partum issue?
Doesn't it go away?
Is it the lack of sleep?
Is it anxiety?
Is it dementia?
Is my plate too full?

I am seriously thinking about POAS (for those of you who don't know this acronym:  peeing on a stick) -- I lose my brain when I fall pregnant.  But surely that cannot be it.  In fact, there is pretty much no way that can be it!!  Well, I must go and finish that bottle of Pinot before I think any further about POAS. 

recaps of the last six weeks

17.  A new baby to hold... to watch... to adore... to love...

Babies in hats are adorable!   I cannot get enough of her littleness.  Her softness.  Her sweetness. 
The days go by all too quickly (and sometimes, very slowly) - I want to hold onto this moment for a lifetime and never forget how it feels to hold her.   

recaps of the last six weeks

11.  Ruffled Bums are a few of my favorite things:

There's no red hair

I was expecting red hair. 
There is not one red strand.
There is, however, an extraordinary amount of hair.  Black hair.
Long black hair.

Blue eyes.
Blue for now.  Blue forever?

Ten tiny fingers.
Ten tiny toes.

Lanky arms and legs.  Yes, even at birth she has a lankiness about her.

In my August 5th ultrasound I had the tech check one last time for gender.  It was still a girl.  I did not want to be surprised at the last minute.  After the third and final push, I did ask if she was still a she because I was too tired to deal with that kind of "mistake". 

Beautiful soft red skin.  No jaundice.  Ever.  First two babies had a lot of jaundice... and pretty olive/yellow skin.

Eyebrows and eyelashes are very light brown... maybe even a tinge of auburn. 

Oh... and the NOSE. 
Have I mentioned the NOSE?
Have you seen the NOSE?
It was truly a sight those first couple of weeks.  A really big prominent nose.  A nose set in the middle of a very fine featured tiny itty bitty face.  My husband blamed it on my French/American Indian side.  I claimed it was from his Polish/Croatian side.  Poor Girl -- she got the NOSE.  And she is slowly growing into the NOSE.  I immediately set up a "Rhinoplasty" fund.  She has my blessing.

A Birth Story

The entire moment happened so quickly that I still cannot grasp that it currently is in the past -- by almost six weeks.  The miracle feels like yesterday. 

Our summer joke for 2010 was a reminder of the big event of 2009 on the first day of school for Victoria.  Daughter #2 unintentionally chose that day and hour -- moments before our departure to school -- to fall and cut her forehead open; requiring immediate sutures and consequently, a yellow tardy slip.  UGH.  What a memory!  Therefore, all summer we joked that the first day of school 2010 would arrive and so would BABY GIRL #3 !! 

And SHE did !!

Like an omen.  Or an "abracadabra" moment.  Or an illusion.  Or ESP.  Or telepathy.  Or witchcraft.  Or God. 

On Wednesday morning, August 11, a mommy friend from gymnastics inquired about my upcoming due date.  Although, I had only gained eleven, yup -- 11, pounds my pending due date still looked like it was two or three months away.  Like in October.  But no, I have had enough of this hot Texas heat.  I feel done.  Anyway, I sarcastically replied, "Tomorrow!  August 12th is my official due date but what baby appears on their chosen date?"  I had absolutely NO SIGNS of delivering by tomorrow.  No contractions.  No pains.  Nothing.  In fact, I had an appointment and ultrasound scheduled for August 13.  The doctor was going to pick an induction date. 

Surprise!

At 6:00pm, I took the girls for an evening swim to cool off since the temperatures were hovering in the low 100's for days.  Evenings were a crisp 95 degrees.  We swam.  We played.  We splashed.  I was growing irritated and tired.  I wanted to go inside to cool off in the 80 degree air-conditioning. 

At 7:45pm, we finally retreated to the air-conditioning.  The girls were getting ready for bedtime.  My husband had just arrived home from work.  Without his wedding band.  Another story, his side, for another time.  Fortunately, I was fatigued. 

At 8:00pm, I started to question my 6 bathroom trips (in the past 15 minutes) ... surely I did not ingest that much pool water.  I haven't had a glass of water since 6:00.  What is going on??  

At 8:05pm, I hunt my mother down as I am gushing water.  My two prior pregnancies resulted in scheduled inductions.  I had never gone into natural labor before.  My water has only been broken by my doctor while lying in the delivery room.  I ask my mother what she thinks is going on.  She thinks my water is broke.  But where is the plug?  Where is the other stuff?  Where is the bloody show?  Where are the contractions?  I don't bloody know (or care) because I didn't have any warning sign at all !!

Of course, I am NOT ready... I have been procrastinating!  I had all of my hospital supplies in a general gathering area.  But nothing was organized or packed. 

So what do I do?

At 8:15pm, I advise my bandless husband to pack a bag for himself because I think my water has busted.  By now, I am quite sure because I am in the bathroom every 30 seconds.  The girls are crying in panic ... Victoria because her first day of school is in the morning.  That is one thing I do have ready!!  And Petra is crying because her big sister is crying. 

I jump in the shower to rinse off the chlorine, SPF 50 and Cutter OFF.  I even blow dry my hair and throw in some hot rollers.  Because, damn it, these hospital photos are going to be "CUTE".  The photos with baby #2 are hideous because I was vomitting until she graced us with her presence!  So, in reality, I do not have photos of delivery #2. 

After showering, I prepare my "hospital favors".  My mother keeps humming (or it is possibly a hissing sound) under her breath that I should probably get to the hospital.  I did not have any contractions yet and I reminded her that I have 23 more hours to deliver a baby due to the broken amniotic sac.  But my goal was to be at the hospital by 10:00pm.

By 9:30pm, I am finally getting around to "packing" my bags.  The ones that should have been packed last month.  And the contractions start.  Ooooh, seems like they are coming quite frequently, not the 20 minutes or 15 minutes apart -- more like every 10 minutes.  A hard one.  A soft one.  A hard one.  A soft one. 

At 9:48pm, we depart.  The hospital is only a 6 minute drive at night.  We finally get to drive the hospital route that we mapped out eight years ago (for baby #1).  The front doors are still open but they will lock at 10:00pm and then we would have to arrive at the Emergency Room Entrance and walk to the other side of the hospital.  And who wants to do that?  Besides, I have to stop every three and a half minutes because the contractions are coming fast and hard. 

At 10:10pm, we arrive on the second floor in the labor/delivery area.  We are shown to a room and I am told to get into bed.  It feels much better standing and walking then lying in bed with back pain and contractions.  A nurse arrives at 10:30pm to check my progress.  I am hooked up to monitors and my blood pressure is climbing.  Contractions still every 3 minutes... and dilation is 6. 

At 11:00pm, dilation is 7. 

At 11:30pm, dilation is 8, the doctor has been called but he won't arrive for another 30 minutes.  (Something about delivering another baby via c-section).  So the nurse brings me Demerol.  The pain meds flow into the IV.  Ahhh.  Don't know how or why... but I fall asleep.  Into a deep sleep.  Like a weird dream state of sleep -- the kind of weird dreams you have when you eat too much before bed.  So, I believe this dream was the result of too much Demerol before bed.  I was in a foreign market with winding alleys and ... I have had this dream before.  I just cannot figure out where I am.  Or IF I have been there before.  I know it so well...

Anyway, sleep.

At 12:30am, the nurse tries to wake me.  My eyes are glued tightly shut.

At 1:00am, the nurse returns and I still cannot manage to open my eyes.

At 1:10am, the nurse is still hovering over my head demanding that I wake up.  God, I make a bad drunk (or is it a cheap drunk?).  I was slurring my words.  That demerol is some strong shit.  I haven't been that drunk since July 9th, 1988.  (Another story for another time-- it's the day I stopped drinking.  Seriously.)

Nurse:  "You need to PUSH"! 

Me:  "Push what?" 

Nurse:  "It's time to PUSH".

Me:  "I didn't push your call button, I am sleeping here."

Nurse:  "The doctor is here."

Me:  "Husband, are you awake?  Can you bring the camera?  They want me to push -- something about  having a baby now."

Nurse:  "Let's go!"

Me:  "I'm really tired -- can you just pull her out?"

Nurse:  "Push, I said."

Me:  "No, really, can you just use some forceps or something?"

Nurse:  "NOW"

Me:  One push.

Nurse:  "Another one."

Me:  "Is she out?"

Nurse:  "NOW"

Me:  Second push.

Me:  "Does she have hair?"

Nurse:  "Another one."

Me:  "Just pull her the rest of the way. I want to go back to bed."

Nurse:  "NOW"

Me:  Third push.

Me:  "Are we done?"

Nurse:  makes this guffallowing sound.  {yes, I made that word up... but that is what it sounded like to me}

Me:  "I'd like to go back to bed now".

INTRODUCING:

Alexandra Pearl

12 August 2010

1:27 am

7 pounds, 7 ounces

20 inches

PS        Pearl (or Perle) is a French Family name ... my grandmother.  And my other grandmother and special great aunt share a name that has the meaning "Pearl".  

PPS      My blood pressure remains a medical issue... pregnancy-induced hypertension.

PPPS    Baby is healthy

PPPPS  Husband was home for the birth of baby girl #3.  However, he did leave four days later and worked out of state for the following two work weeks. 

whirlwind tour

I have passed the one month mark...
And I am sliding into the six-week base.
My hormones are ALL over the place.
My memory is GONE.
Blogging has definitely taken a vacation - at least, a backseat in a very long extended cab.
My thoughts are all over the board - or universe.

Kind of like the song "Hot n Cold" by Katy Perry {Which I seriously think -- in my manic self delusion grandiose state -- she wrote for me, seriously!!}

You... change your mind (because it is my prerogative)
Like a girl... changes clothes (have you seen my three girls' closets??)
Yeah you... PMS (hell yes! Because it is EXPECTED so why not use it?)
Like a bitch... I would know (not really, but I'll run with it!)
And you... over think (because I have way too much time on my hands... or because I'm female?!)
Always speak... cryptically (because I do live in "missy-land" and it is a great place to be)

I'm hot then I'm cold because my post partum state seems to have thrown my elderly body into menopause
I'm yes then I'm no because flakiness is symptomatic and habitual
I'm in then I'm out because have you seen my belly button??
I'm up then I'm down because I'm up then I'm down because I'm on a hormonal wave of ebbs and flows
He's wrong then I'm right because... just because!
I'm black then I'm white because there is just too much gray area to wade through

on names and naming

Names, names, names

This is where I am at... and completely STUCK.  I need a name.  I need a girl name.  I am having a rather difficult time with this task.  And, honestly, I am not sure why?!  There are plenty of girl names available... I only have six taken (three first and three middle -- including mine).

Recently, I purchased a new baby-namer book.   Because this one touted "60,000" names!  And surely, I hadn't heard them all yet. There has to be ONE in there that will jump out at me and say "PICK ME". Let's divide gender in half -- leaving me with "30,000" available names.   Minus our home, our siblings, our nieces and nephews, our first cousins, our second cousins, our exes -- 76.  Times two for the middle names = 152.  I now have "29,848" names to peruse.

Possibly, I am making this task way too difficult. 
     1.  Just select a name you LOVE.

My preferences are odd, I admit, but this is a baby's name we are talking about.
     1.  three syllables
     2.  ends in -a
     3.  non-ethnic
     4.  not overused
     5.  does not begin with ch- or d- or v- or p-
     6.  no more than 5000 already named women in the social security database
     7.  not a common name in our state
     8.  no more than 5 already named girls in my girls' school directory
     9.  does not end in -ina (-eena)
    10.  no provoked nicknames as a result
    11.  no shortened agendas
    12.  flowing
    13.  sentimental
    14.  meaningful
    15.  could be a place name, hotel name, church name, cigarette brand, etc...
    16.  a Saint's name is a plus
    17.  a name day in Eastern European culture
    18.  able to pronounce name in many languages, specifically Japanese
    19.  my husband must like the name
    20.  must be able to pronounce the name

ARGHHH!

Good Luck!

Friday, I'm in Love. {the Cure}

I don't care if Monday's blue

Tuesday's gray and Wednesday too

Thursday I don't care about you

It's Friday, I'm in love ...

On weekends, our family tries to put the haste of the week behind us.  We linger over breakfast on Saturday and Sunday.  We lounge in our pajamas - a bit longer than necessary.  We may even have a "during-the-week-time-forbidden" snack mid-morning, like homemade chocolate chip muffins. 

Fortunately, I stay home so my entire week is, more or less, a weekend.  Monday to Sunday.  Weekly.   I bask in the warmth of little daughter's laughter, her curiosity, her penchant for busy-ness.  I welcome oldest daughter's arrival home from school.  I am conscious of the "little things".  We go outside for bubbles, or chalk, or a brisk early swim, or a walk to look at blooming flowers (before the tedious homework begins).

But on Friday, when everyone returns home for two entire days - we are in love.  In love with our time together.  In love with our interaction.  In love with "family time".  In love, perhaps, with having no plans except the spontaneous ones. 

Although, there are moments... you know the kind of moments... where you want to leave the house (alone) and return hours later.  Or Monday morning. 

So,I turn my head and delusionally deny the imperfection.  For these are the weekends my children will recall with happiness of their childhood memories. 

It's Friday, I'm in Love!

No fooling, it is April Fool's Day, without the jokes.

... and yes, to all those who have sent questioning emails... "I am Pregnant"!

It is not an April Fool's joke.  In fact, it is NOT really funny! 

I don't know anyone who enjoys being constantly ILL.  (I cannot use the word "sick" because in Turkish, it has a whole new and different meaning!)

I am down ten pounds.  Which is not entirely all bad news.  Considering I only gain about ten or twelve pounds with each pregnancy.  So, I actually deliver at my pre-pregnancy and pre-illness state.  So, for this blessing, I will not complain. 

I am pregnant with baby GIRL #3. 

I am slowly coming out of denial.  The baby room (for the past seven years) is pale blue, green and yellow.  The baby items are of neutral coloring.  Blue bedding.  White blankets.  Green clothing.  Yellow accessories. 
I have been "expecting" a boy for seven years.  And surely, it is not happening this year. 

I believe it has something to do with the fact that I announced on the second date with my "now" husband, "You are going to have ALL girls"!  On the first date I announced, "I have NO concept of money".  And he married me anyway!  I love my husband! 

Biggest sister and Big sister are preparing for little sister-to-be.  It is a joyous time of year. 

So, on this April Fool's, I give THANKS to my little girls and my darling husband.

Why I Don't Hire A Babysitter?

I quickly put the baby down for a nap. Babysitter arrives and appears to be eager. Currently, the babysitter has free time and can relax until busy baby wails from her crib. I assume baby will wake up in one hour. I create an even easier scenario as I take big sister with me. There is only one sleeping baby in the house.

I have three errands to accomplish. My estimated time of return is two and one half hours. I will probably create a fourth errand if time permits. Off we go.

We hustle. The first two errands are complete within an hour. I curb the urge to phone home reassuring myself that the babysitter will phone if there is a problem. Besides, I do not want to wake up sleeping baby.

The next errand is long and is finally complete in one hour. We decide to tackle the fourth errand which takes a mere twelve minutes. Whew! Errands are finished for the day. And that saves me from having to tote two girls tomorrow.

We return home after two hours and twelve minutes. Just eighteen minutes earlier than our estimated return.

We enter the house through the back door. The house seems to be extraordinarily quiet. The babysitter's car is still parked in its spot.

Upon further investigation, we discover a trail of spoons on the kitchen floor. The spoons lead us into the playroom. The playroom is disorderly. Crayons have been strewn all over the hardwoods. (I'll probably discover a waxy diaper later.) We continue our search for baby and babysitter.

We spy a couple of crayons in the foyer and leading into the living room. The crayons lead us to plants... and more specifically, dirt. Dirt which has been expelled from its pot. And most likely ingested into some little person's belly.

Following the dirt trail, no baby in bedroom number one. No baby in bedroom number two. We venture into bedroom number three. Still no baby.

However, the babysitter has been located in bedroom number four. My husband is fast asleep (at four o'clock in the afternoon). And from the master bath, we hear tiny gales of laughter. We peek around the corner and there is baby ... making snow. Tissues and toilet paper have filled the bathroom, several inches thick.

And, yes, that is why I don't hire a babysitter!

Disposable vs. Cloth

Every parenting, mommy, family magazine in circulation has an ongoing debate regarding diapers: disposable vs. cloth. A similar ongoing debate occurs among the mommy mafia for feeding: bottle vs. breastfed.

For diapering, why don't the articles cover the real, everyday, life part of it? How do you clean a cloth diaper? How do you properly dispose of disposables? Will the messy cloth contaminate other clothes items if laundered together? Will the disposables call maggots to your trash bin? UGH! Real Life PLEASE! I can conclude which diaper is GREENER. I can conclude which diaper is EASIER. But I am asking for REALITY!

I am trying to decide which one is better for my lifestyle. And today it is CLOTH.

I poke baby three times. Baby is wrestling to stand up and run. Baby cannot remove cloth diaper (unlike disposable) on her own.

One hour later, Oops! Baby mess. UGH!!

Change baby. Two more pin pokes in her hips. Once again, baby is wriggling herself free and on the verge of running.

Dirty cloth diaper goes to the girls' bathroom toilet to be rinsed. Diaper takes a break and sits in the toilet bowl while diaper-cleaner is wrangling baby into the playroom. Big sister is playing in her room. Diaper-cleaner quickly loads the dryer. Diaper-cleaner returns to bathroom to rinse diaper and load into the washing machine.

Where is the diaper? I know dirty diaper cannot go too far. And I definitely know that nobody (other than me) will TOUCH dirty diaper.

I look in the bowl, behind the bowl, next to the bowl, behind diaper genie, behind wastebasket, under bath mat, in bathtub, behind shower curtain, and in the bowl (again).

The toilet starts gurgling. The pipe connected to the wall is shaking. The toilet water is now rising very quickly. The toilet water is overflowing. There is sewer water backing up into the bathtub.

"Hey," I shout. "Who just used the bathroom?"
"Hey," the echo shouts back. "Who just left a diaper in the toilet?"

Of course, nobody did it! So, how did that cloth diaper just get flushed down into the kingdom of sewerness?

UGH! And some other four-letter words shouting inside my head. This is just the beginning of my day. It surely cannot turn any worse. Or maybe...

Cats spy a constant supply of water gurgling up from the bathtub drain. Cats jump in and start to drink before I can get them outside.

UGH! Cats vomit!

It is only 8:13 in the morning! Is my debate solved?

I need a drink (or three) ... but only after Mr. Roto-Rooter saves the day! Maybe, Mr. Roto-Rooter will drink with me! After all, he is a man in uniform. And... yes, a man in uniform, indeed!

It's Rough Being A Baby...

I want to be a cat (says the wise one)!

Cry. Point. Clap. Cry. Whine. Mess. Laugh. Smile. Cry. Cry. Grunt. Utter. Cry. Laugh. Smile. Sleep. Mess. Cry. Tantrum. Smile. Laugh. Cry. Yuck! Walk. Cry. Cry. Fall. Laugh. Smile. Cry. Crawl. Eat. Smile. Laugh. Mess. Cry. Cry. Smile. Sleep.

Sleep. Eat. Sleep. Sleep. Eat. Chase. Sleep. Eat. Eat. Sleep. Mess. Sleep. Run. Eat. Eat. Pounce. Sleep. Creep. Eat. Climb. Eat. Eat. Sleep.

Who wants to be the "mommy"?

Wake. Caffeinate. Smile. Type. Clean. Cook. Make. Wash. Change. Clean. Carry. Wash. Rinse. Dry. Play. Hydrate. Wipe. Change. Create. Spin. Pull. Push. Wax. Vacuum. Cry. Caffeinate. Hydrate. Smile. Nibble. Cook. Clean. Clean. Wash. Rinse. Dry. Hydrate. Caffeinate. Hallucinate. Smile. Smile. Cook. Clean. Mail. Sweep. Ignore. Answer. Wash. Rinse. Dry. Spin. Play. Wipe. Change. Smile. Watch. Clean. Wash. Rinse. Dry. Laugh. Pull. Play. Tote. Lug. Drag. Nag. Nag. Nag. Wipe. Hydrate. Caffeinate. Smile. Talk. Chat. Listen. Pickup. Clean. Clear. Laugh. Sign. Fix. Write. Read. Peruse. Nag. Nag. Smile. Hydrate. Wash. Rinse. Dry. Smile. Hydrate. Sleep. Snore. Wake. Sleep. Snore. Sleep. Wake. Sleep. Snore. Sleep. Wake.