4. Retail Therapy

Day 4.
Have you taken Jill Martin's advice yet by ridding your closets by 75%?

You will feel so liberated and so depleted and so excited to indulge in some pick-me-up-retail-therapy!  Although I am not sure this was Jill's idea behind disposing of 75% of your clothing.  I am quite sure she said to wear the 25% that is already in your closet.  So, people, let's go fill another trashbag to donate. 
And then we can do some "GUILTY-FREE" shopping! 

New Jeans?  Jill says that if you hardly ever wear jeans, then you ONLY need 2 pair!  But what about all of the Jean-Mamas who live in daily denim?!  And we don't want to wear the MOM jeans!
I say, LEVIS for everyday.  And "Not Your Daughter's Jeans" for any mommy over 40.  And "Sevens" ... are those still in?

Boots.  I have my several pair selected.

Peacoats.  Tan.  Navy.

A new scarf.  I am loving me some PASHMINAs!

But, Don't Forget to Accessorize with New Handbags!  Make it a Ginormous, Huge, Fantastically Large handbag.  Because take it from me...this is some darn good advice:

I am not the only one.

There is a whole subculture of wives who participate in the same type of activity. 
We omit facts.
Facts that involve numbers.
Facts that involve numbers that make up something called "Prices".
And those numbers usually participate in the game of shopping.

Q:  How much did you pay for that?
A:  The amount is usually 40 to 50% less than actual pay.

Q:  Is that new?
A:  No, I've had that.  See, you, never pay attention.  I showed you that about six months ago... at least.

I have only met one lady who seems to be completely appalled by the fact that wives play this little game.  Because I'm sure that lady is totally honest 100% of the time with her spouse.  Perhaps, she is honest about shopping but maybe not so honest about the cute cabana boy.  Just a guess...

Anyway, I have heard some fun stories from salesclerks and cashiers over the years.

At the drycleaners, one lady paid for a surprise 70th birthday party for her husband that ran in the amount of a few thousand dollars.  The drycleaners has a policy:  $10 minimum charge on a credit card.  So she would always make her amount for $10 or $15 depending on the week.  If her bill totalled $7.50 then she would pocket the $2.50 (or $7.50).  She did this weekly.  She saved every cent of it.  And she gave her lovely husband one helluva surprise!  I love that story!!!

And at Walmart, one woman or a few, purchase gift cards at the kiosks set up near the checkout lanes. Gift cards like Macy's or Barnes & Noble or Ann Taylor.  They purchase a gift card during their weekly grocery shopping trip.  Then they go shopping at the location of their recent gift card purchase!!  Wife spends less at Macy's (or at least, in appearance)!  ha ha ha.

At the salon, one woman pays for half of her beauty treatments with cash and the other half is on credit card.  That way, hubby only sees the credit card portion and thinks that it is such a little amount to make his wife sooooo happy.  In turn, he feels happy paying the half amount!!

And in a friend's home, the residing hubby firmly believes that there is always a sale somewhere... it just isn't his wife's job to find them all. 

There are more stories.  And every wife has one.  From some moment or another...

And all I say is ... GO WIFE!!!

there are some things in life

... that make me think that I really want to have more little ones in the home.  The baby stuff that exists today is so fantastic.  So fun.  So non-birth-controlling!

Start wiring children for their college destination while they are in the crib! 

Hell, Baby Einstein did it with "Listen to Mozart and your child will be an amazing genius!"  (by the way, if you have any of those DVDs collecting dust in your home -- you can send them back for a full refund because chances are your child didn't become a genius by the age of 3.)



Plays the MSU fight song!  I love it!




the perfect pacifier



Start your college savings

Awwww!



Every girl needs a cheerleader outfit.  And boy, if needed.



Would totally push Nebraska... look at these adorable Cornhuskers!!

And adorable Aggie dogs!

And... whose mascot is this?  Is it Old Miss?  Tennessee?  I don't know, but I think these old men are kind of cute!!

I sure would like to decorate with these cute university items.  Can I justify a "Mascot Mobile" for my 8 year old?  Or too small university booties for my almost 3 year old? 

Actually, I probably can justify buying these cuties!  The children won't know that not every teenager doesn't have a Cornhusker Mobile in their bedroom ... because I will avoid "play dates" for the next ten years. 

Actually, I can justify buying any item.  Just ask my poor hubby.  Because I have an ongoing very long list of answers for ANY question he might toss in my direction. 

"Why exactly do the girls need Mascot Mobiles at their ages?" asks hubby.
"Well, you said we should begin introducing the children to different universities/colleges at a young age?" I reply with one answer from "the list".
"But did you really need to buy 25 Mascot Mobiles?" whines hubby.
"I couldn't decide which university to push, so I thought that with 25 Mascot Mobiles, they would have a good selection!" I diplomatically counter.
"But these are Mascot Mobiles, how are they going to help in deciding which university to attend?" questions hubby.
"Whatever Mascot Mobile they like the best, DUH!"  I proclaim.
"Huh?" ponders hubby.
"We are females!  Haven't I taught you anything about how the XX chromosomally proud make their decisions a.k.a. the 'cuteness factor' effect!?"  I announce.

One Year Complete

So, it is 11:59 pm as I write this note to myself.  A self-pity note.  A note of truth.

My year of NO SHOPPING is officially OVER.  COMPLETE.  FINI.
NOW.

I sucked.

Actually, I more than sucked.

I totally sucked.

There were days that I did really well at staying home.  Well, away from cash registers, anyway.  And some of those good days added up to weeks.  The weeks even added up to three entire months.  25%.  I had some will-power.  But not nearly enough...

Shopping lesson #1:  Be pregnant.  The morning sickness, daytime sickness, and evening sickness will definitely CURE you of the urge to shop!  However, I don't think I can spend the next 120 months being pregnant!!  Permanently pregnant; how's that for The Enquirer?  Perhaps there is a "pill" one can ingest to "fake" pregnancy when the shopping desire takes over one's brain.

Shopping lesson #2:  In certain weak moments, I kept finding "just one look" excuses shoved in my front pockets like lost pennies.  I had to use them.  On something.  Anything.  Because a penny is still a coin.  A viable coin.  Don't carry loose change.  You will want to spend it. 

Shopping lesson #3:  Tssk.  Tssk.  Tssk.  I'm thinking that my ex is probably quite glad he cheated on me. 

Shopping lesson #4:  The "two-bin" system exists in factories... but should not in one's entire home!!!

Shopping lesson #5:  Lean.  Sigma Six Strategies did not save me from the department stores, boutiques, on-line stores, or the Galleria!   I think I need a stronger intervention.  Like free-flowing WINE to keep myself occupied.

Shopping lesson #6:  Learn from your mistakes.  Control the amount of expenditure by setting limits.  For example, select ONLY one item vs. the-no-conscious-idea-of-what-happened-its-way-into-the-cart item. 

Shopping lesson #7:  Look at the total sale amount before you sign your name.  or before you get home.  or before you go to bed.  At the end of the month, the bill won't be such a surprise!

Shopping lesson #8:  Just stay home.  Get your pedometer and take walks.  It saved me the first month.  BUT... taking walks at the mall doesn't count.  I was doing great while walking at home, putting in a lot of miles, until a co-spender suggested I meet her at the mall to walk! 

Shopping lesson #9:  Just stay looped. 

Shopping lesson #10:  Try it again!  But let's begin on January 1st this time!  And we'll set new rules.  New accountability.  New ideas.  New standards.  MAYBE even a REWARD system!!!  I am dreaming of a visit to Tiffany's on December 31, 2011.  In fact, 'what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's"?  I think I remember the film, and as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it!!'   So TIFFANY's IT IS!!

Be.Thankful. {day twenty six}

I am thankful for Black Friday.

And the newly introduced Cyber Monday.

It is the perfect day to stay home.  OR...

To venture on a field trip while everyone else is shopping.

To breakfast in the city's most popular restaurant while everyone else is still shopping.

To sip coffee in the outdoor cafe while watching hostile drivers flip each other off.

To witness rudeness and flash an annoying smile in return.

I am thankful for this fun, once-a-year, only in America kind of day!!!

I love Black Friday.

You might want to pack some heat in my city! 

shopping update ... 20 weeks

Rough Day of Shopping

Well, the shopping -- or rather, the no shopping -- is not going so well.  The first sixteen weeks were positive.  I really made an effort; and the effort was good and rewarded with genuine happy smiles from darling husband.  However, the last four weeks -- combined with pregnancy depression -- have sucked.  There is no better word.  Or rather, I have sucked at "no shopping". 

When I was diagnosed with placenta previa, I panicked.  That is my excuse and I am sticking to it. 

The first couple of ultrasounds and their memento photographs are so charming and exciting... when you see tiny baby in a sac with little limbs, a head, a rump, and a beating heart.  Then the next few ultrasounds and their photographs (in 2D or 3D) are horrifying, in my opinion.  The head is quite skeletal with eye sockets and a mouth and nose.  The gender:  either lines or turtle-ish.  The photographs are NOT flattering. 

So, with each pregnancy, I choose to SHOP.  Unattractive baby in ultrasound photographs NEEDS some very BEAUTIFUL clothes.  And shop, I do.  (I suppose I could just hand-me-down since I keep producing baby girls... but each year, the girls clothing becomes more beautiful.  Damn you baby designers!)

The stores and their cute names suck me in like a windtunnel.   I walk by the store front and a gigantic Hoover Vac has its hose pointed at me and off I go.  I have no choice because I cannot fight the suction.  I suppose it would help IF I chose not to drive to the sites in the first place!

Anavini (one of my favorite smocked dress designers)
Janie and Jack (http://www.janieandjack.com/)
Bunnies By The Bay (http://www.bunniesbythebay.com/)
Zutano
Jacadi
Lily Pullitzer
Hanna Andersson
Gymboree (http://www.gymboree.com/) and don't forget the Gymbucks
... going on NOW, so you can come back later!!
Zoe and Jack
Babies on the Boulevard
Snug as a Bug
Strasbourg (more smocked dresses)
Kelly's Kids (http://www.kellyskids.com/)
Victoria's Kid
Kissy Kissy
Windmill Kids (http://www.windmillkids.com/)

And the list could go on and on...

But baby girl #3 will have pretty clothing despite her appearance!

Shopping Update ... almost 8 weeks

I have been very well behaved when it comes to my year-long "no shopping" adventure.  I have stayed away from all super centers, malls, boutiques, and on-line emails that are begging to be opened.  I am sure I have saved tons of money.  There is really ONLY one reason why I have been able to maintain my NO shopping adventure.  I have had the flu.  An on-going six week long flu!  Why won't this nasty flu bug go away?  Why don't I feel good?  Why does it affect my "mood" for spending money?  Why?  Why me? 

Except... on one rare "feel good" day...

I got three words for you...

"DAMN you, IKEA!"

Sleepless in the Southwest

No need to set the alarm...  I am waking up between 3 and 4:am every morning.  For no apparent reason.  For no good reason, anyway. 

I cannot get online because I will end up visiting all of the sites I have banned myself from.  Especially the ones offering "SALES" and "FREE SHIPPING" with NO MINIMUM!  I just select DELETE.  I do not even read the subject line.  

[I apologize if I have deleted any of your emails because sometimes I just really get carried away with the DELETE button!]

I cannot call friends unless you live in England or Japan.

I wish I could sleep.  At night.  Clearly, I have no trouble sleeping at 1:00 in the afternoon. 

Ohhh, sleep.

At least I am not shopping.  19 days and I have saved a ton of money already.  This month.  This month only.  We are SO not acknowledging last month.  Or the month before.  I was in a shopping frenzy.  I mean really... how many shopaholics go to Europe and Russia on a BINGE before they have to quit shopping!!

PS  I am having some serious JETLAG!

lists

I am a serious list maker.  copious lists.  post-it lists.  long lists.  short lists.  notebook lists.  calendar lists.   car lists.  everywhere lists.

But I lose them.  I start over.  I lose those too!

I have a Christmas list somewhere too.  And since I cannot shop - I need a "want" list to give to other willing shoppers.  And since I cannot buy whatever I want whenever I want - I have compiled a great list.  And the top ten change daily!

1.  jalapeno pepper corer

2.  jalapeno pepper cooker

3.  poached egg cooker

4.  wok - do they still manufacture these?

5.  carousel statue

6.  floating bar (for the pool)

7.  ergonomic pen

8.  restylane

9.  monogrammed cutting board and spreaders

10.  Wendel Chocolate

14 day update

Only 341 days to go!

Every time I get an urge to "run" to the store, I have decided to take a walk.  The walk lasts until the urge passes.  The urges are becoming less frequent.  After all it has been 14 days.  And it takes 1 to 2 weeks to retrain yourself when overcoming bad habits.

Today, only 8 urges... so far!

8:00 AM      take a walk
8:25 AM      return home
                    use the bathroom
                    grab some more water
8:29 AM      take a walk
8:44 AM      return home
                    make/eat breakfast
9:03 AM      take a walk
9:27 AM      return home
                    watch Rachel Ray
10:01 AM    take a walk
10:42 AM    return home
                    clean home
                    prepare/eat lunch
11:09 AM    take a walk
11:37 AM    return home
                    children to nap
                    listen to TV
                    clean out two closets
                    call "L"
                    clean oven
                    children still napping
                    cannot shop online - avoid computer
                    clean out junk drawers around the house
                    children finally awake
1:48 PM       take a walk
2:25 PM       return home
                    drive to school to pick up older children
                     return home - with NO stops
3:23 PM       take a walk
3:59 PM       return home
                    thinking about holiday sales
4:25 PM      take a walk
5:30 PM      return home
                   prepare/eat dinner
6:45 PM     reading/homework/sharing and BED
                   I am exhausted.

PS  tomorrow, I will wear a pedometer!
PPS  I walked for 243 minutes
PPPS  doesn't that equal like 16 miles if you're walking approximately 4MPH?
PPPPS  the good news is that I did not venture to one store today.  Or for the past two weeks other than groceries = necessities.

Please note: upcoming FREE SHIPPING DAY

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 17th

is

FREE SHIPPING DAY

If you still have shopping to do for the holidays, there is an upcoming free shipping day for all you online shoppers!  Check out the website to see if your favorite retailers will be offering free shipping!

Also, the delivery for Christmas is guaranteed!

Happy Shopping!  I will be thinking of all you online shoppers!  Don't forget:  December 17th!

http://www.freeshippingday.com/

PINK Friday

Why do they call the Friday after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"?  No, this is not a riddle.  This is a very serious inquiry, not to be taken lightly! 

Black is not a very happy color.  Not a very mind-pleasing word.  not very colorful.  not very enlightening.

We should call it "Ice Cream Friday".  Everyone loves Ice Cream!  But November's end could be a bit chilly.  And "Coffee Friday" would be very limiting... because not everyone loves coffee. 

Or we should call it "Pink Friday".  Pink is a wonderful sounding, ear pleasing, eye catching word.  Pink, as in "spoiled pink", "think pink", "tickled pink", "pink power", and "the pink panther".  Ahhh, PINK!  A GREAT ADJECTIVE for the Friday after Thanksgiving!!

PINK!

Pink Friday is a very colorful, exciting, mind-jumping, hand-clapping, foot-dancing kind of day!!  There are savings abound.  Items galore.  Stores to explore.

shout out

the cutest sleeping bags. ever. are on sale. now. until november 19.

pink. lavendar. blue. red

a big shout out to

www.potterybarnkids.com

for an adorable sleeping bag!

so adorable your kids may actually take a nap. for real.

wouldn't that be a delightful concept.

thirty day countdown

On December 1st, this blog will not only tell short stories but it will also publish the misgivings of a shopper-wannabee.  A shopper who has given up all impulse shopping.  A shopper who wants to see if there is really a savings to be made.  A shopper who reads about other families saving money... but the families never report the actual savings.  And then they spend their savings.  One family bought all new camping equipment... for a one-time deal... and now they probably vacation inside the marriott.  So much for camping gear rotting away in the garage, basement, or attic!!

Rules:
1.  ONLY Shop from a list
2.  USE coupons on every shopping trip.
3.  Extra food items can only be bought IF they are on sale (Extras as in snacks, or beef that is buy one get two free, or canned food supplies that are actually used on a regular basis)
4.  Children's snacks will only be purchased on sale. 
5.  No shopping for use "SOMEDAY".
6.  No extra shopping (extra, in this case, meaning:  we already have three rolls of ribbon and two rolls or wrapping paper, no more until it is gone!)
7.  Gifts will still be purchased!
8.  We will not scrimp on the basics:  toilet paper, tissues, detergent, etc.  But more effort will be made to hunt down coupons to use!
9.  Will not go to any store, boutique, outlet, or mall unless shopping for a SPECIFIC item for a GIFT.  Or my children have outgrown a SIZE.  Or something that is totally negotiable and deemed absolutely necessary.  Imperative. 
10.  Will not stoop to washing plastic bags or plastic containers if they are a threat to our health and well-being.  For example, there is mold growing inside.
11.  Will keep track of savings.  IF I pass on those cute matching girl pajamas (because each child already owns 8 sets each), then I save $$$.  Even IF they were pink and green polka dots and super preppy and totally adorable! 
12.  Will add more rules as they arise!

Good Luck! 
365 days is a long time to 'control' my impulse shopping control. 

Upon completion, November 30, 2010, what should we do with the savings? 
I guess that is what the next year is for, contemplation and planning on how to spend money well-saved!

Time is ticking, must get to Dillards and Nordstroms... shopping to do before my time is up.  hee hee hee.

Back to my project ...

I have been shopping NON-stop.  All day in stores.  All night on-line. 

I scored ANAVINI dresses at Boutique S.  Can you believe it?  ANAVINI easily cost $80 per dress.  [Husband if you are reading this, that is probably a typo, I know I said they only cost about $8 - but that was for one sleeve.] 

ANAVINI on sale.  ANAVINI at 75% off.  I bought a lot of ANAVINI today!  Baby P needs some pretty dresses to detract from her forehead gash and scar. 

SQUEAKY SHOES... LOVE THEM!  I bought pink size 6, brown size 7, black size 8 and white size 9.  When your toddler walks, the shoes SQUEAK!  LOVE THEM!  And Baby P will probably hate them by the time she gets to size 8.

LILY PULITZER for everyone in the house [minus hubby - pink and green are so NOT his colors].  Who can resist the preppy colors and fabrics of LILY?  It's like being on vacation all the time!  So many nights I just dream of the ocean... and then I get attacked by a shark [but it's really just the cat biting and pulling the skin between my knuckles!].

Don't forget the catalogs that arrive at 12:30 everyday.  Aaahhhh.  Should I order completely unnecessary winter gear from Lands End or LLBean?  Is there Free Shipping at Chasing Fireflies to offset their printed prices?  Need any home decor from Horchow?  Any birthday crap from Birthday Express?  Is that a 10% off at Posh Tots? 

I ordered printed Christmas Wrapping Paper.  Its implied monogram really says, "this cost money, rip open with care from the T family".  And monogrammed ribbon.  And personalized labels.  And personalized envelope seals.  And personalized toilet paper (not really, but if they had it - I may have considered it). 

Ahhh, euphoric shopping.  I have 77 days left until the start of my NO SHOPPING for ONE YEAR project begins!  That is 11 weeks.  NO, I am not going to continue to go crazy with more shopping.  I am just trying to finish my to-do list before I AM DENIED (by my own will) the process of shopping.  My husband is anxiously awaiting December 1st.

Excessive Nature

I just drove 3 hours roundtrip to buy ... placemats. Round. Blue. Ruffled. Adorable. Perfect shade. Excellent price.

Shipping was not an option. Even after begging. Pleading. Even after six phone calls to six different sales' associates. Claiming pregnancy, with TWINS, on 90% bedrest. NOT an OPTION.

Regular price would have cost me $80. Yes, that's right. Yikes. How would I explain that charge?

So, I found them on sale. $15. And some change. Total cost for ten.

Gas, miles driven, gallons depleted, vehicle wear and tear... haven't figured those numbers out yet. Probably won't. Probably doesn't even add up to the $65 I saved. Probably still saved. Besides, who cares? And, the bottom line is: I have my beautiful placemats.

I gushed with enthusiasm at my find. The sales' associate remained politely aloof, yet, she wondered ALOUD when my TWINS were due!? [Oops, I would have to get that sales' associate!]

Well, I am currently using my 10% non-bedrest time to buy THESE placemats. The TWINS are due in four weeks (week 36) because the Doctor will induce. AND, I am not showing much since I haven't gained any weight because I have been vomiting for 32 weeks thus far, plus, I just started FAT.

Sales' associate had no further comments as she bid me farewell.

I must buy now because my project date will be beginning soon and I don't want to have to 'ruin' my yearlong experiment by having to splurge on placemats. Which are neither depletable or disposable.

Binge and Purge

I have an idea... an experiment... a thought... a project... a triumph... a disaster!

Although, I am not sure when to begin. My project will last one year. I have to pick the perfect date. I have to choose the exact moment. I have to think through all of the logistics. I have to redefine 'depletables' and 'disposables'.

Until I get my project under way, I will be excessive. Shopping. Drinking. Gluttonying.

Here's to exorbitant limited conditions!