Wednesdays at Walmart = FUN

ONLY because I arrived at WalMart at 7am.  Yes, in the morning!  I finally got BINGO at 8:29am! 

Thank you to the last WalMart patron! 

Unfortunately for me... I actually knew the BEARDED WOMAN. 

So, yes, confession time, I pretended that I didn't see you.  Yes, YOU.  And YES, it was ME.  AND Yes again, I purposely dropped my grocery bag and spent an inordinate amount of time picking up my private (now public) products. 

You see, you are one HAIRY FUNdamentally ILL woman growing a FUNdass FUNgus.  And YES, I was avoiding you.  Because EVERY time I meet your acquaintance, I have to hear how GREAT you are.  It's rather ANNOYING!  Deeply annoying.  I'd rather have my toenails removed.  

Do you exploit your latest surgery for awe?  for envy?  for jealousy?

Is it to feel secure by letting people think you have money?? 

Is it to gain compliments?  Like anyone is going to say, "Wow, what a waste of twenty grand!"  "Did it work?"  or "I can't tell the difference!" 

Your gasbagging SCREAMS "LOSER"!  Please STOP!

Hide and Seek

It's another Sunday, funday... And we are playing 'Hide and Seek' indoors due to the hotTexas heat outdoors. Even the pets avoid going out. Can you help us find the cat!? Apparently Cat A thinks she is hiding.

Lucky Charm Revisited

Whatever happened to the superstitious feet? You know the ones that were mass produced into key chains. Dyed in a multitude of colors to suit your fancy. The lucky rabbit foot!

As a young child, a lucky rabbit foot appeared to be the “in” charm of the 70's. And if you were “lucky” enough to be a licensed driver, then you may have had a foot dangling from your keys (to ward off accidents? to ward off being locked out of your car? to put a hex on slow driver A?).

Of course, I was too young to drive but that did not alter my desire to have and carry a lucky rabbit foot. I just really wanted one!

My dad, an avid sportsman, improvised. He hunted dinner rabbits. And if we just happened to be served a game meal, then there was probably a foot somewhere to be had. Not just any foot. But the coveted left hind foot. The luckiest part of the rabbit – so the story goes. shhh! please don't call peta!

One night, as I was washing up for dinner, I noticed a peculiar gamy aroma coming from the kitchen. It was rabbit. (I detest game – any kind of game.) Despite my aversion to a rabbit meal, I was offered the trophy. A real rabbit foot. Not synthetic. Not dyed. It was rabbit colored. It was rabbit odored. It was a stick in your pocket and carry rabbit foot. I was happy … until my cat ran off with my lucky foot.

I suppose the foot did not provide me the gift of luck since I was not feeling particularly lucky. I still preferred the pink commercial foot. And my cat would not have run off with a fake foot.

On the other hand, perhaps, I was lucky. What nine year old kid wants to walk around with a foot in her pocket? So I held out... (not because I wanted to but because nobody bought me a foot!)

And good luck finally arrived by the time I was a legally licensed driver. Rabbit foot was OUT. Bottle-opener key chain was IN. Perfect for enabling the “drinking and driving” teenager phase. And, thankfully, that low-budget fad diminished fast enough and soon gave way to Gucci, the new IN for key rings.

Real (non-dyed) lucky rabbit feet can still be found at www.crookedcreekantlerart.com economically priced at $6.00. Perhaps, renewed luck would be on my side -- thirty years later. (IF I were a CPA, I would take note: a $4.00/7% annual/200% total increase over thirty years!)
Or see www.gucci.com for the classic key ring, now priced at $155.00. (a $90.00/7% annual/140% increase over twenty years! And IF I were a CPA, I would advise myself to buy one NOW because in ten years it may reach the 200% increase creating a new price of $200.00)

Or try some new luck and go for the Tiffany sterling silver heart for $235.00 or the Louis Vuitton classic Monogram Key Ring at $165.00. (Your husband will be thrilled that you gave up on the rabbit foot and held out for something memorable that he can surprise you with! And with my luck, I will be gifted the sentimental rabbit foot on my next birthday from my loving husband!!)