FAQs

Q:  Did you really only gain 11 pounds?  (from M)

A:  Yes.  I just started FAT!  Plus I have a really great metabolism during pregnancy.  I can gain weight by just smelling food in my nonpregnant state.  (photo taken 3 days before birth)  At week 36, I was up 15 pounds but with the flu striking - I dropped 4 pounds and never gained it back.


Q:  Who do you write for? (from S)

A:  Myself.  I document my family's life (past and present) in a humorous light because life is just way too serious at times.  I only write for myself, I am not writing for an audience.   My blog is not for everyone ... if you don't like what I write... don't read it.  If you like what I write... then please share a laugh with someone else in your life today.  Life is too short not to smile.  Fake or otherwise.  :+)


Q:  Is your stuff true?  (from S#2, T, and J)

A:  Depends.  Depends on what stuff you are talking about??  Most of it.   


Q:  Are you on something?  (from Anon)

A:  No.  Past. Present. Future.


Q:  Do you drink?  (from L)

A:  No.  I have not had more than one glass (8 oz.) of beer in the last 9 years.  On July 9, 1988, I quit drinking all liquor except for the token glass of beer or wine.  The token kind where you just stand around with the same glass for six hours, not really drinking according to my drinking friends.



Q:  Does your husband read your blog? (from A)

A:  Probably not - we're still married!!


Q:  Do your parents read your blog and are you embarrassed by anything you write?  (from D)

A:  Embarrassed, no.  My parents are my only readers.  And they love me because they have to.  They live far away so this blog keeps them current.  And currently, it is six weeks behind. 


Q:  Do you work?  (from N)

A:  Yes, 24-7.  However, I am fortunate to stay home and do what I love -- be with my girls.


Q:  Do you blog because you are bored?  (from MJ)

A:  No.  I am not bored at home.  See Question #2.  Reiterate:  "I write for myself".


Q:  Why the age difference between your daughters and was it planned?  (from M#2)

A:  There are many reasons.  However, too many to explain here... maybe in a personal blog story.  I see a pattern... always a future story. 

lax or lazy?

I have not been very consistent at updating my blog because:
a.  I have the ten month flu (haven't you been keeping up)
b.  My children are dull
c.  My fingers are cold and numb from all the snow in Texas
d.  All of the above

I have no real excuses because:
a.  This is all fiction, remember?
b.  I got a job
c.  I live in the UAE now and the time change is killing me
d.  None of the above

My days are filled with:
a.  Drivel
b.  Nonsense
c.  Work
d.  All of the above

My schedule is full because:
a.  I spend 6+ hours walking due to my 'no shopping' rule
b.  I waste an exorbitant amount of time playing solitaire
c.  I watch too much daytime tv
d.  None of the above

I procrastinate because:
a.  I can
b.  Nobody is keeping tabs on me
c.  I do better with hour time limits not month time limits
d.  All of the above

100

red jelly beans? 100 ounces? 100 minutes of peace and quiet? 100 freckles? 100 pages? 100 post-it notes? 100 t-shirts? 100 pennies? 100 steps to the mailbox? 100 idle seconds til I hear the word "MOM"? 100 repetitions of squats? 100 pistachios? 100 ...

100 blog posts!

100 days of writing... of releasing words... of mindless drivel.

Crank gets the Look!

Victoria reached a milestone today...

She has officially mastered the "go to hell" glare and she used it in an appropriate situation.

Victoria is a good student. She is diligent. She is serious. She is responsible. She is well-behaved. (Or so I think in my own delusional state-of-being.) Children always act differently when they are away from their parents. I know this from experience. And since she is a problem-child at home, then she must be perfect at school.

The principal is an old bitter woman who never married and never raised children. And not that you need to be married or have children to be an effective principal, I do believe it would have helped this woman. On the golden egg scale, she registers as a 'bad egg' (remember Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?). Cranky principal has one positive characteristic - she takes education very seriously. However, she is not a pedestal role model for children.

The "Crank" visited my daughter's Kindergarten classroom. Victoria's class was participating in a writing lesson. At that exact moment, the "Crank" selected my child to approach. The quietest, the most shy, the most sensitive, and the best handwriting.

In a coarse and unfriendly voice, Crank announced, "Victoria, if you keep holding your pencil like that, you won't be passing to first grade. How would you like to repeat Kindergarten?"

Victoria kept on writing. Pretending that this woman couldn't possibly be talking to her (another mastered action, perhaps, learned from me). Victoria's head is screaming at the Crank (I can hear it)!

Crank insisted, "Victoria, I want you to hold your pencil this way" (as she removed Victoria's pencil and placed it into her hand in a different position). It was so awkward that Victoria could not legibly write her name.

And this is where the "LOOK" was coming to fruition.

She glared at this woman (who remained quite oblivious), squinted up her big blue eyes, clenched her teeth, and drained her face of color. If actions could speak, "GO TO HELL" would have been screamed from the depths of her gut!

The school photographer had been following the principal for candid interaction photographs. Ironically, school photographer took a photo at the exact same moment that the "LOOK" was produced.

Crank demanded, "Victoria, are you paying attention? I told you to do it the correct way!" (Victoria had resumed her own successful pencil position, disregarding Crank's authority.)

Victoria looked up and shouted, "I heard you. AND YOU are hurting my Mother's feelings."

Crank was clearly confused. Victoria continued, "MY MOTHER LOST TWO FINGERS FROM SICK BACTERIA AND SHE CAN'T WRITE THAT WAY EITHER!"

Crank is retiring in seven days. We are looking forward to a joyful year in first grade.

Too bad school photographer deleted the photo! She is the one who informed me of the situation. For now, Victoria is keeping her secret about the scary principal encounter! And, me, I am trying to find a way to successfully model the balance between rebellion and independence!