"5" - today's rating

So, how exactly did we catch the FLU?

Was it the cashier who coughed on our receipt?
Was it the toddler who had a runny nose?
Was it the child at gymnastics who did not want to "skip" a class?
Was it the restaurant - sticky seats, unkempt booth, and tabletop breeding bacterium?
Was it church?
Was it the germ harbouring but never catching neighbor?

Three of us are down and one to go...

I have always been healthy during prenancy.  Never sick.  Maybe a slight sinus cold.  Maybe a few headaches.  But never the flu.

Can I just tell you that being 36 weeks pregnant and catching the stomach virus is so NOT fun?  No, it is not morning sickness.  Nor is it third-trimester sickness.  Nor is it food poisoning.  It is the stomach flu.  And it hurts!!!

Life is NOT Fair

A totally overused cliche to describe something we WANT but do NOT receive:

bigger boobs
lipo'd thighs
botoxed lips
moneyed trees

Recently I discovered the true meaning of "Life is NOT Fair" when I accompanied my friend, Lander, to divorce court.

Wallace served Lander divorce papers as if she were the recipient of a Surprise 40th Birthday Party. After twenty-two years and two children, Lander was shocked, horrified, and bewildered.

Eight months later, Lander and I took our seats in front of the judge. Lander is in need of child support and alimony.

A few minutes later, a tall, striking woman approaches the bench. Wallace's lawyer? Wallace's new companion? Whoever she is, she is impeccably dressed with a definite air of plastic surgery-ness!

The judge taps her gavel three times (for effect). Lander Raney? Claudia Nicole Raney? Please stand!

I can no longer concentrate on the divorce proceedings. Wallace no longer exists. Wallace is now verified as Claudia Nicole on a social security card. Claudia Nicole has filed bankruptcy. There is NO money available to support their two children, presently or for college. Claudia has spent it ALL, having her "penis" chopped off.

(Lander is over the initial shock, but I am NOT! Claudia is lucky that I am not her ex-to-be. Because I have one word: REVENGE!)