Assuming is a very bad thing

ESPECIALLY IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST, LUNCH OR DINNER!

I am not much of a cook, let alone a 'short-order' cook. I don't even pretend to be! If you come to our house... you'll probably be served the same thing you had last time. And the time before that. And the time before that.

Please don't ask my children what are their favorite foods... you may be surprised to learn that their favorites include: salmon, shrimp, tofu, spring rolls, edamame (please pronounce it 'ay-dah-mah-may'), tilapia and broccoli.

Shhhh! Now you know my secret (I really do cook) but it is better to pretend I don't - so you won't want to come and visit us!

Post 4th of July Menu

Breakfast: It is in the refrigerator unless you are taking us to IHOP. (hee hee)

Snack: The baby seems to prefer dirt, let's all try it! The pediatrician recommends one bite before 'passing'. Good rule to implement today!

Lunch: Whatever is quick... Popcorn? Marshmallow kebabs? Melted 'Parade' candy? Who has the phone number for 'PF Changs'?

Snack: Pool water with lemon? Something from the compost pile (didn't I just put watermelon rinds in there yesterday?)?

Dinner: Have we had cereal today? Corn Flakes? Cheerios? Cat food niblets dunked in milk?

Snack: a six pack of beer? bottle of wine? that old bottle of Tequila from 1991? Oh, and for the children, hell, why not mix up some lemonade and beer? Or dried up cheerios stuck to the floor? (I think they would prefer the beer!)

As for next week, I promise to cook (fingers crossed)!

Just hot air ...

Eggs for breakfast, anyone?

It's 6:19 am and it is 81 degrees! It's 8:17 am and it is 89 degrees! It's 10:46 am and it is 96 degrees!

100 degrees and the temperature is climbing...

103 degrees and the temperature has stabilized...

This is not even including the heat index. Screw the heat index. What do we need a friggin' heat index at 103 for?

So, join us gathered 'round the cement pond for some fried eggs! We are doing an experiment and hopefully, we'll get breakfast out of the deal!

The rest of the day will be spent in a horizontal NAKED position, unmoving, afraid to stir up any hot air. (Yes, there is a/c in Texas but at 103 plus the heat index does it really help when you have to move around? And I'll put my clothes on IF anyone dares to come over!)