Spell check does not work in real life

On Monday morning, the teacher greets the classroom of twenty-four eager, happy students.

"I have the new first grade spelling list for this week. Ten fabulous new words and two bonus words. Let's introduce the new words!"

1. have - I have a new dog.

"Who would like to volunteer to spell the word 'have'?" asks the teacher.

"h-a-v-e", Brian confidently spells.

The teacher writes the word on the board and praises Brian.

2. funny - I laughed at his funny joke.

"Any volunteers?" questions the teacher. "Go ahead, Jake."

"f-u-c-k", Jake innocently spells.

The teacher ceases writing midstream f-u-.... and hides her face (creative, new, and very funny).

"Well, not exactly. Actually, there are five letters in this word. But ... Jake can I see you a moment. Class, please continue working on your reading handout."

Thank God the other twenty-three first-graders have not been weaned on the F-Word.

Going on a Fieldtrip

Heading out on a field trip to the local park, the teacher asks the children to imagine what they might encounter. Remember this park has a pond.

"Grass!" shouts Hyllary.

"Ducks!" announces Wyatt.

"Geese!" bellows Carter.

"Squirrels!" yells Aliya.

"Bugs and other yucky things!" insists Betsy and Windy.

"Good job, students! I love all of your answers. When we return to the classroom, we will record our findings in our journal," states the teacher. "And ..." an interruption occurs ...

"FLAMINGOS!" shouts Vanessa, who has obviously never been to a park in Texas!













(Photo courtesy of flickr.com and marymactavish)