The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the EIGHTH day of Christmas, my true love gave to me ...

EIGHT HANDS FOR CLEANING

Seven stockings hanging
Six bottles of wine

Five carats gem

Four suggestions

Three pixies

Two chocolates

And a holiday memory

Thought of the Day

It is finally the weekend and ...

This pretty much sums up my thoughts for the day!

nesting neuroses

Once upon a time, girl meets boy

boy falls in love and proclaims "the one"

so girl falls in love and claims "this is it"

Girl and Boy get married

Buy an old historic home to renovate

and test their "love" during demolition and restoration

Boy wonders where "his space" is placed

Girl informs said boy that he has "a drawer"

And luckily for said boy and small drawers,

said boy gets "two"

side by side

also known as:

The JUNK drawers

Occasionally, girl enters boy space and cleans out the JUNK

6:43 AM

"YES, I know how to operate those silly child-proof latches!  Mom, Dad!  The latches do NOT work!  I know it is a bit early this morning.  But I am trying to find the waffle mix, I am hungry!  Oh, AND I was just trying to help.  xoxo"

hide and seek

HONEY .....

a.  how to buy a new vacuum
b.  husband is bailing out of "his" chores
c.  husband is "underfoot"
d.  how to get funding for hiring a maid
e.  all of the above

i.love.to.clean

This is the way we clean the house, clean the house, clean the house

This is the way we clean the house

At THREE in the morning

This is the way we sweep the crap, sweep the crap, sweep the crap

This is the way we sweep the crap

Deep in the corner

This is the way we wash a dish, wash a dish, wash a dish

This is the way we wash a dish

Big doggy lickins

This is the way we iron a shirt, iron a shirt, iron a shirt

This is the way we iron a shirt

Flattened under a mattress

This is the way we make the bed, make the bed, make the bed

This is the way we make the bed

Guess we didn't do it

This is the way we make a meal, make a meal, make a meal

This is the way we make a meal

Out of a box

This is the way we polish the table, polish the table, polish the table

This is the way we polish the table

Spit Shine and Wipe

This is the way we sanitize, sanitize, sanitize

This is the way we sanitize

Who's toothbrush's in the toilet

This is the way we mop the floor, mop the floor, mop the floor

This is the way we mop the floor

Just spill your water

This is the way we start the day, start the day, start the day

This is the way we start the day

With coffee and kahlua

This is the way we end the day, end the day, end the day

This is the way we end the day

Sloppy and sloshy

Home Maid III

So, there I sat at nine months and 5 days pg. And I had 3 weeks and 2 days to go. For those of you who are clueless or easily misled, pregnancy is 280 days which equals 10 months which means the completion of the ninth month. No, we pregger women don't get to reach the ninth month and rejoice... we have to complete the entire 4 weeks within that month. UGH!

I was still desperately seeking cleaning help. I started perusing classifieds in four different newspapers. I started surfing local classifieds. I called and begged friends. Apparently, nobody likes to SHARE their house cleaner. OR maybe you REALLY don't have one! HA! I even hauled my big belly to the corner and held a big sign that said, "Houseful ... of crap, Please help me clean it!" Nobody called. Well, actually, one person called but since he was already drunk I didn't think that would help my house situation.

Husband arrived at home to more dirt and mess. Surely, he isn't BLIND. Or oblivious. Or POLITE.

I handed him a bucket, sponge, cleaner, toilet brush, more cleaner, rags and a Coors Light.

He incredulously asked, "What's this for?"

"Um, I-dunno, maybe you can wash dishes? Or scrub the pool tiles? Or take one of the bathrooms?

Husband drank Coors. Husband misplaced cleaning supplies. Husband has disappeared.

Home Maid II

Can't find your socks? Check your closet floor!

Can't turn your clothes outside-in? Then they will be laundered, dried, and folded in the same way that you left them on the floor.

Can't find a clean bowl? Grab one out of the sink (mine are in the dishwasher)!

Now, can we discuss a maid?