Friday, February 19, 2010

Ash Wednesday

On Ash Wednesday, my family was adorned with ash forehead crosses.  It is a Christian Holy Day that is observed by a large number of religious orders, not just mine.  Especially here in the Southern Bible Belt. 

Ironically, we had a visitor appear at our door about 4pm.  It was a visitor from "UNITY MANAGEMENT".  You know, the bible-toting-"I believe in God"-magazine-SCAMMERS!!  Actually, I opened the door... normally, I just don't answer.  But it is Ash Wednesday and all, I should at least be polite.  A new Lenten promise? 

After twelve minutes of this scammer-girl's speech which included 55 "God" words and 34 "I am a Christian" phrases and 29 "I am a good person" statements {by the way, yes, I did count!}, scammer-girl still hadn't gotten around to "WHAT" she was selling/scamming. 

So, I finally told her, "Thanks, but NO thanks". 

Defensively, she had nothing else to exclaim EXCEPT...

"By the way, did you know y'all have some BLACK SHIT on your foreheads??"

I replied with a smile, "It's Lent!"

Scammer-girl {remember the Christian-Claiming, God-Loving, Holy Roller} questioned, "Can you please enlighten me?  What's SLENT?"

I smiled back at her and told her to "GO TO CHURCH"!  It just might save her from ending up in jail.

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