Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year!

Best Wishes for 2010! 

May the New Year be a great beginning!

How many resolutions can one have? 

I suppose you can have as many as you want considering the resolution is broken within twenty-four hours anyhow.  But it is always good to attempt a resolution ... it is the "peer pressure" type of thing to do. 

Besides, it sounds noble to announce:

NO more cheating.  (on my driver's exam, people!!)
No more eating junk food.  (unless it is the main entree)
No more 'falling' for short, fat, bald men with a lot of money and zero personality.
No more impersonal attempts at maintaining friendships.
No more yo-yo personaliting.
No more house cleaning.
No more drinking.  (diet coke, people!!)

2010 is going to be a great year, if I can keep my resolutions!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Coffee, Tea or Me?

 I am totally still in the holiday spirit of delusion.

My house is messy.
My kids are dirty.
My cats are ... somewhere.
The inlaws are _______________ .
My husband is _______________ .
Remember, I am still filled with the holiday spirit.

How many more days till everyone leaves the house - back to school, back to work, back to their hometown, back to Timbuktu, back to wherever they need to be????

Always a TICKER. Always a COUNTDOWN. Always WAITING.

God, I don't want to be wishing my days, weeks, months, years away.



Sunday, December 27, 2009

Fat and Happy...

... are the cats, the dogs, the kids, the hubby.  AHHH!  What a wonderful time of year! 
I hope everyone has had a memorable Christmas Holiday. 
Warmest Wishes for 2010!

PS  Santa, thank you for bringing me three karats worth of sparkly diamond earrings.  My husband swears he didn't buy them.  He has no idea where they came from.  But I believe.  So I know you were the one doling out this big, huge wonderful surprise!  Love you Santa!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!

Have a Blessed Christmas Day!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A German Pickle to be in...

I don't care if this Christmas Tradition is a "created for Americans only but supposedly originated in Germany" tradition.  I think it is FABULOUS.  I think it is FUN.  Especially for the PICKLE FINDER! 

Our Non-German family, barely American at that, has a different twist on the German Pickle... we leave the German Pickle out for Santa -- along with his cookies and milk.  We ask that Santa hide the Pickle in the tree.  (I believe the American version asks that a family member hide the pickle, but we thought it would be more fun if Santa did!)

So, Santa hides the pickle on our tree on Christmas Eve when he makes it to our house.  When we awake in the morning, whoever finds the PICKLE FIRST on the tree receives an extra present.  Santa has left a special package under the tree with a tag that reads "PICKLE PRESENT". 


ps  I hope I find the pickle!!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Only 4 more days...

... until Christmas Morning! 
I am as excited as my children.  It is a magical day... ENJOY! 
And don't forget to "ELBOW" any Grinch-bitch who doesn't smile or share in the holiday spirit!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Sleepless in the Southwest

No need to set the alarm...  I am waking up between 3 and 4:am every morning.  For no apparent reason.  For no good reason, anyway. 

I cannot get online because I will end up visiting all of the sites I have banned myself from.  Especially the ones offering "SALES" and "FREE SHIPPING" with NO MINIMUM!  I just select DELETE.  I do not even read the subject line.  

[I apologize if I have deleted any of your emails because sometimes I just really get carried away with the DELETE button!]

I cannot call friends unless you live in England or Japan.

I wish I could sleep.  At night.  Clearly, I have no trouble sleeping at 1:00 in the afternoon. 

Ohhh, sleep.

At least I am not shopping.  19 days and I have saved a ton of money already.  This month.  This month only.  We are SO not acknowledging last month.  Or the month before.  I was in a shopping frenzy.  I mean really... how many shopaholics go to Europe and Russia on a BINGE before they have to quit shopping!!

PS  I am having some serious JETLAG!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


I am a serious list maker.  copious lists.  post-it lists.  long lists.  short lists.  notebook lists.  calendar lists.   car lists.  everywhere lists.

But I lose them.  I start over.  I lose those too!

I have a Christmas list somewhere too.  And since I cannot shop - I need a "want" list to give to other willing shoppers.  And since I cannot buy whatever I want whenever I want - I have compiled a great list.  And the top ten change daily!

1.  jalapeno pepper corer
2.  jalapeno pepper cooker
3.  poached egg cooker
4.  wok - do they still manufacture these?
5.  carousel statue
6.  floating bar (for the pool)
7.  ergonomic pen
8.  restylane
9.  monogrammed cutting board and spreaders
10.  Wendel Chocolate

Monday, December 14, 2009

14 day update

Only 341 days to go!

Every time I get an urge to "run" to the store, I have decided to take a walk.  The walk lasts until the urge passes.  The urges are becoming less frequent.  After all it has been 14 days.  And it takes 1 to 2 weeks to retrain yourself when overcoming bad habits.

Today, only 8 urges... so far!

8:00 AM      take a walk
8:25 AM      return home
                    use the bathroom
                    grab some more water
8:29 AM      take a walk
8:44 AM      return home
                    make/eat breakfast
9:03 AM      take a walk
9:27 AM      return home
                    watch Rachel Ray
10:01 AM    take a walk
10:42 AM    return home
                    clean home
                    prepare/eat lunch
11:09 AM    take a walk
11:37 AM    return home
                    children to nap
                    listen to TV
                    clean out two closets
                    call "L"
                    clean oven
                    children still napping
                    cannot shop online - avoid computer
                    clean out junk drawers around the house
                    children finally awake
1:48 PM       take a walk
2:25 PM       return home
                    drive to school to pick up older children
                     return home - with NO stops
3:23 PM       take a walk
3:59 PM       return home
                    thinking about holiday sales
4:25 PM      take a walk
5:30 PM      return home
                   prepare/eat dinner
6:45 PM     reading/homework/sharing and BED
                   I am exhausted.

PS  tomorrow, I will wear a pedometer!
PPS  I walked for 243 minutes
PPPS  doesn't that equal like 16 miles if you're walking approximately 4MPH?
PPPPS  the good news is that I did not venture to one store today.  Or for the past two weeks other than groceries = necessities.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Saturated with the Christmas Spirit

We attended my husband's "department" Christmas Party last night.  I know, I know - the rule is to NEVER imbibe in public OR in the presence of people who can effect your future.  Definitely your husband's future. 

How was I to know that the beautiful red punch with floating cranberries and wreath-shaped iced cubes was spiked?  It's not like I own any tastebuds.  Those disappeared long ago ... during my AFRIN addiction!  AND, besides, the "hostess-bitch" said it was NOT spiked. 

Apparently I was intoxicated after two red drinks in 20 minutes because I ventured over to examine the exquisite ice sculpture.  It was flowing a beautiful pink colored watery substance.  Only too bad for me because I started guzzling the waterfall and that turned out to be MORE Vodka. 

We departed when I could not locate a safe place to hang my leg off the floor.  I was completely saturated with the Christmas Spirit.  Probably still am. 

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Exhibit C Christmas Letter

Dear __________________,

It is that time of year again ... where did the last 365 days go? Here we are wishing you a wonderful 2010! 2009 was a great year for the "T" family. We have many memories to add to our photo albums (110 and counting - we're running out of space).

We have had the most extraordinary year!  It all began with an all expense paid trip to Hawaii from the in-laws.  They didn't know what to get us for Christmas so they thought a trip might be fun.  And it was.  The weather was great.  The penthouse was fantastic.  The food delicious.  The entertainment delightful.  We are planning to make this trip an annual event. 

It seems like we just unpacked our bags and it was time for our  President's Weekend of Skiing!  The Colorado Lodge is so peaceful and perfect for a snowy winter weekend. 

Then we were off to Belize for Spring Break.  Our original plans were to go to Cambodia but due to time constraints and select soccer we opted for a shorter airplane flight.  Diving in Belize was incredible.  The water so clear, so blue, so fresh.  The fish and coral so visible. 

During Easter Weekend we experimented with a new tradition.  We fled to the Florida Keys.   We were in desperate need of a vacation.  And the conch fritters and reggae was just the ticket.

School was finally out.  The children had a great year.  "1" is at the top of his class.  A model child.  Even at 16.  He is really responsible especially with his new Lexus Sedan - a birthday gift!  "2" continues to excel at sports.  As I mentioned above, select soccer is in her life.  Traveling and prestige go with this team.  She is already being scouted by colleges.  "3" is still as sweet as ever.  She is training with a primadonna ballerina.  She spent the summer in New York.  "4" is finding his way as a football player.  His acquired size (from the "T" side of the family) is definitely a gaining advantage for this sport.  We have hopes of Penn State in his future as QB.

The summer was truly a time for regrouping and spending time together.  First we supported "3" in New York with her dance.  Then from there we all flew to Spain for the remaining weeks of summer.  Sandy beaches along the Costa del Sol, Sangria flowing, Paella, and amigos! 

Once we landed back in the States, we had to prepare for the school year.  Thanksgiving Vacation was here before we knew it.  Due to all of the children's events and happenings, we spent the holiday in Mexico.  Another short flight from home.  Plus being in Mexico is almost the same as being at home.  And now here it is Christmas.  The New Year's holiday will be rung in an hour earlier in Florida. 

We hope you all have had an exciting 2009 as well.  Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  From the "T" family.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Exhibit B Christmas Letter

Dear __________________,

It is that time of year again ... where did the last 365 days go? Here we are wishing you a wonderful 2010! 2009 was a great year for the "T" family. We have many memories to add to our photo albums (110 and counting - we're running out of space).

However, I'll quit the sap now.  Frankly, our year sucked.  It has been one thing after another this past year.  It all started in January.  We were broadsided.   The car demolished.  Too bad for us because we were in the process of switching insurance companies.  And there was a ONE DAY lapse due to that day being a Sunday in which we were 100% uncovered.  So of course we were hit on that ONE DAY.  And of course, the other driver was at fault but insured-less.   Since we were all rushed to the ER, the car insurance situation was on delay.  Yes, we did have health insurance.  However, our new policy's deductible is $6000.   Our ER bill was $6011.  I had three broken ribs.  "T" had a broken nose.  And all four children had concussions. 
We had to fight the health insurance company for our measley $11.  When we finally did receive that check 90 days later, we splurged on McDonalds.  Only too bad for us, we all contracted some horrible (and smelly) gastrointestinal situation.

Our year pretty much stayed the same way that it started out.  We couldn't go anywhere for Spring Break due to the ER bill and the car bill.  So we stayed home and made each other miserable.

I'd like to say I quit my job.  Or perhaps, I was laid off.  But technically I was fired.  I was fired because I didn't have a car for a while and the 5 mile walk was a bit long on some days.  Luckily I was only 5 miles away.  

"T" was demoted.  I didn't know one could be demoted at work and still want to wake up and continue to go there for the humiliation!  I was also demoted this year... from "matron of honor" to "bridesmaid" in my best friend's fourth wedding.  Although, I have the feeling we aren't really "BFFs"!!  And, yes, the dresses were UGLY.  And, no, you cannot EVER wear them again.

Our oldest, most promising child was held back this past school year.  The coaches told us it was so they could have an extra season with our QB.  Well, I don't think that is quite true.  He is seeking therapy at this time. 

Our middle, overlooked child had a pregnancy scare or two.  I could only think about how fun it would be to raise her baby.  Plus I have some really cool back-up baby names that I have been wanting to use!  So I sought out therapy for my delusion.

Our two youngest children are very independent.  We don't even know where they live on most days.  I knew the day would come when we would embarrass them.  I guess it happened with the youngest first. 

Summer was stagnant.  We planned a trip to Arkansas.  But with the swine flu outbreak and our horrible luck this past year, we decided it would be best to avoid contact with people.  We did visit the "MYSTERY SPOT" in Oklahoma because NOBODY ever goes to those attractions! 

We are highly anticipating the end of 2009.  2010 has just got to be more rewarding.  Here's to an upcoming fabulous year!  If any of you or yours are in the neighborhood, we would love to have you visit.  Our doors are always open (just call first).

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
   Warmest Wishes from the "T" family

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Exhibit A Christmas Letter

Dear __________________,

It is that time of year again ... where did the last 365 days go?  Here we are wishing you a wonderful 2010!  2009 was a great year for the "T" family.  We have many memories to add to our photo albums (110 and counting - we're running out of space).

The best part of 2009 for the "T" family was
  a.  the in-laws moved
  b.  we vacationed in Hawaii
  c.  cash for clunkers
  d.  all of the above

The worst part of 2009 was
  a.  catching oldest child with pot
  b.  receiving middle child's report card
  c.  watching the twins mimic the oldest child - "rolling" their own
  d.  all of the above
The most shocking part of 2009 was
  a.  failing my beautician's exam
  b.  husband's ex-mistress wouldn't go away
  c.  children earned highest score in Trivia at the local bar
  d.  all of the above
The biggest disappointments for 2009 were
  a.  oldest child crashed the t-bird
  b.  middle child failed PE due to his inability to run one mile in one hour
  c.  Ellen and Allen, the twins, have swapped clothing and identity 
  d.  all of the above
The biggest a-ha moments of 2009 were
  a.  the bread lasts longer in the refrigerator even if it's a bit hard
  b.  there is always a sale somewhere
  c.  there is truly no giving tree with money
  d.  all of the above
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
    Warmest Wishes from the "T" family

The answers:  1.d; 2.d; 3.d; 4.d; 5.d

Monday, December 7, 2009

cyberspace creates the everyday year-round Christmas letter

facebook, twitter, myspace, plaxo, linkedin, and any other social networking site ... it's like the year-round Christmas Letter!  The energizer Christmas Letter!  The "how blessed am I" that goes on and on and on! 

Everything you read is a Christmas Letter!  The brilliantly written, eloquently read, eternally optimistic, and the perfectly orchestrated life!  It's all so surfacely lovely!

Because with 4,953 "friends" reading your daily status, I guess your life isn't supposed to suck!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Please note: upcoming FREE SHIPPING DAY


If you still have shopping to do for the holidays, there is an upcoming free shipping day for all you online shoppers!  Check out the website to see if your favorite retailers will be offering free shipping!

Also, the delivery for Christmas is guaranteed!

Happy Shopping!  I will be thinking of all you online shoppers!  Don't forget:  December 17th!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Real Life Seinfeld Episode

Anyone remember the "SOUP NAZI" episode? 

It happens.  It's REAL. 

I visited the University Milk Bar (a commie run restaurant) with a very short menu.  A menu for those who know about this type of food.  Cheap food.  Economical food.  Commie rationed food.  Typically anything made with potatoes. 

1.  You enter the Milk Bar in a systematic fashion.
2.  March up to the order counter.
3.  Know your order before standing at the counter.
4.  Grab a tray.
7.  Order.
8.  Sit down.
9.  Sit down at an empty chair at an already occupied table.  Do NOT start a new table.
10.  Pick up order when called.  IF YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THEIR LANGUAGE because no help will be provided.  No eye contact will be made.  No gestures to aide in retrieving your ordered meal. 
11.  Do NOT attempt to pick up your meal earlier.
12.  Do NOT attempt to pick up your meal later.
13.  Be prepared to NOT receive your meal.
14.  Be prepared to be YELLED at by the COOK and Order taker and any other Worker.
15.  Be prepared to be LAUGHED at by other patrons.
16.  EAT quietly and efficiently and neatly IF you receive your order.
17.  Do NOT talk while eating.
18.  Do NOT complain about the food.
19.  Do NOT linger at the Milk Bar.
20.  Dispose of dishes and tray immediately and correctly.
21.  Leave.  Do NOT return to that Milk Bar unless you master the procedures.
22.  Visit a new Milk Bar.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

December First

Happy December 1st!

Whew!  My year-long NO shopping project begins TODAY!
I am extremely grateful for PINK Friday and PINK Sunday's arrival before the first of December.
I will keep you updated via blog on my shopless life in the south.

Let the Countdown to Christmas BEGIN!

PS  I hope there is chocolate behind those little doors!