Thursday, September 30, 2010

recaps of the last six weeks

4.  The nursery is ready.

I wanted to change the room I call "nursery" because it has been almost exactly the same since 2003.  The monograms have changed.  The wall letters have changed.  The photos in the frames have changed.  But mostly, the room has not changed. 

Blue walls
Claire's Check by Waverly (blue/green/yellow plaid fabric)

I thought about adding a "monkey mural" -- I had the perfect one selected but I decided not to change the entire room because really it is a nursery for such a short time.   And in 18 months, I will be redecorating on a whole new level:  a big girl room. 

I did add vintage 1972 Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy prints.  I love this duo.  They are classic.  It reminds me of a simpler time. 

This is the mural I would have painted: 

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


Q:  Did you really only gain 11 pounds?  (from M)

A:  Yes.  I just started FAT!  Plus I have a really great metabolism during pregnancy.  I can gain weight by just smelling food in my nonpregnant state.  (photo taken 3 days before birth)  At week 36, I was up 15 pounds but with the flu striking - I dropped 4 pounds and never gained it back.

Q:  Who do you write for? (from S)

A:  Myself.  I document my family's life (past and present) in a humorous light because life is just way too serious at times.  I only write for myself, I am not writing for an audience.   My blog is not for everyone ... if you don't like what I write... don't read it.  If you like what I write... then please share a laugh with someone else in your life today.  Life is too short not to smile.  Fake or otherwise.  :+)

Q:  Is your stuff true?  (from S#2, T, and J)

A:  Depends.  Depends on what stuff you are talking about??  Most of it.   

Q:  Are you on something?  (from Anon)

A:  No.  Past. Present. Future.

Q:  Do you drink?  (from L)

A:  No.  I have not had more than one glass (8 oz.) of beer in the last 9 years.  On July 9, 1988, I quit drinking all liquor except for the token glass of beer or wine.  The token kind where you just stand around with the same glass for six hours, not really drinking according to my drinking friends.

Q:  Does your husband read your blog? (from A)

A:  Probably not - we're still married!!

Q:  Do your parents read your blog and are you embarrassed by anything you write?  (from D)

A:  Embarrassed, no.  My parents are my only readers.  And they love me because they have to.  They live far away so this blog keeps them current.  And currently, it is six weeks behind. 

Q:  Do you work?  (from N)

A:  Yes, 24-7.  However, I am fortunate to stay home and do what I love -- be with my girls.

Q:  Do you blog because you are bored?  (from MJ)

A:  No.  I am not bored at home.  See Question #2.  Reiterate:  "I write for myself".

Q:  Why the age difference between your daughters and was it planned?  (from M#2)

A:  There are many reasons.  However, too many to explain here... maybe in a personal blog story.  I see a pattern... always a future story. 

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

recaps of the last six weeks

3.  the big brown truck

I received the oddest phone call from the automobile dealer where we purchased one of our vehicles.  Since this happens to be the vehicle I drive most often, I did NOT hang up on this caller.  I actually listened to the caller's shtick.

The dealership has a small supply of preowned vehicles available for purchase.  They are looking for excellent used vehicles to build-up their inventory and lot.  I am proud to announce that I fit into that category!  The dealer wants my vehicle for a trade-in.  I have no accidents on my VIN number.  I have low mileage.  I have a clean vehicle.  I have proven maintenance records.  Wow!  I feel ... very maternal ... toward a piece of sheet metal that emerged from a factory. 


The great big brown truck slammed into my car-ass. 

To ice the cake, we all love a "man in uniform" but too bad for me the brown-uniformed driver was a "she"!

Now who wants my vehicle?

Monday, September 27, 2010

recaps of the last six weeks

2.  Our first visit to the Rainforest Cafe

The girls were enamored with the Rainforest and its animals.  I think they were so busy with all the sights and sounds that they could not concentrate on eating!  Afterall, it is a sight-seeing spot.  And a giftshop.  And a bar.  And a Build-A-Bear workshop.  All in one.

So, food was definitely not on the priority list.

Every few minutes, the Elephants would trunk-ese.  The gorillas would ooh-ooh-ese.  The toucans would caw-caw-ese.  The frogs would croak-croak-ese.  The rain would fall.  The alligator would open its mouth.   

The girls tried to toss coins into the alligator's mouth -- kind of like that "hungry, hungry, hippo" game.  They didn't master the coin tossing activity and claimed that the "yakudoshi" still exists.  "When does my "yakudoshi" end?" asked Victoria in a dramatic whiny pleading voice.  I find it difficult to equate "missing the alligator's mouth" with "yakudoshi".  I hardly call that bad luck. 

"I don't know," I respond, "when do you think it started?"

Since our rainforest departure, Petra inquires daily about the rainforest and our return!  And I am not exaggerating about the daily question because she asks at least sixteen times per day!!  And Victoria is still hung up on her bad luck year. 


Friday, September 24, 2010

recaps of the last six weeks

1.  The Hospital Stay 

The stay at the hospital was not what I remember from the prior two pregnancies.  I actually enjoyed the visits, and the food, and the TV, and the serenity.  This time around, not so true.  In fact, it was the worst experience EVER.  And this is probably not even the worst it is going to become once the "new health care" kicks in. 

The shifts between nurses did not TALK to each other.  Each time the shift changed, I had to explain my situation to the new incoming nurse.  Thank God I was in the maternity ward so that was a little bit self-explanatory!!  I would not have wanted to be on a different floor with an unknown situation. 

The time it took for the nurses to move me out of labor/delivery to the recovery room was HOURS.  Like 2:00am to 10:00am.  All I wanted to do was sleep and the nurse kept me awake because she kept promising to move me.  That never happened.  As did the sleep, that never happened either.

So, with ZERO sleep and within hours of delivering a baby who weighed 7 pounds of my 11 pound weight gain.  Plus the placenta.  My blood pressure stayed extremely HIGH.  Is it any wonder?  I am a nervous/anxious person without pregnancy so why is it a surprise that my blood pressure was elevated?  And WHY does the NURSE insist on taking the blood pressure when I am COMPLETELY pissed off at the SHIFT for their neglect, disorganization, and unprofessionalism. 

I held my breath during blood pressure readings.  Result:  HIGH.  I was full of anxiety.  Especially when they would take the reading and the cuff would reset itself... I knew then that the reading would be higher than normal. 

The nurse took my new baby and did not return her for HOURS.  I called the nursery every 30 minutes.  How long does it take to give her a bath?  In fact, when she was returned to me... she was still messy.

The on-call Doctor was a b***h.  She would not even give me a moment of her time.  She did not even check in on me over the next 12 hours.  She poked her head into the room ONCE... and it was to ask the nurse a question.  Where oh where is my beloved doctor???

Finally moved to the recovery room. 

OKAY, who was SICK?

Was it the person who delivered my meal from the cafeteria?  Was it the Tech or Nurse who didn't bother to show up for work the next day?  Was is the other Nurse?  Was it the other Tech?  Was it the lady who came around to educate me on State Immunizations?  Was it the chaplain from the hospital?  Oh, and why is that person here??  Was is the Lactation Consultant?  Was it the hospital photographer? 

My doctor showed up the next morning.  Thank God.  He left orders with the nurses regarding my discharge.

On my last day, the day of discharge from the hospital, the nurse nor the tech even bothered to show up for work.  Not one person followed my doctor's orders.  In fact, I did not see one person for 12 hours.  Someone finally returned my baby again.  After another 12 hours!! 

The nurse who happened to be there (just never seen) upon my discharge was more concerned with the tightness of the carseat straps than my discharge orders.  I could have had a serious blood-clot or hemorraging condition and that did not even matter compared to the carseat situation. 

I finally arrived home.  I was very happy to be in our safe, quiet haven.   I would have been in a strait jacket by morning had I had to stay one more night in the hospital.  I arrived home about 9:00pm. 

Until I woke up at 11:00pm with the FLU.  The FLU.  YES, that's right, the FLU!  Again.  This was bad.  My baby is 2 days old and I have the FLU. 

I spent the next two days in bed at home.  Trying to isolate myself from the rest of the family. 

It did NOT work.  Because my FLU transformed itself into another viral form and was passed along to daughter #1. 

Daughter #1 was rushed to the Emergency Room at 4:00am because she could not breathe.  When a child tells you that he/she cannot breathe -- there is no waiting around.  She was admitted to the same hospital I just left a week ago.  She has the CROUP.  And some Resistant Airways Disease.  My FLU gave Daughter #1 the Croup.  UGH.

Three days later, the incubation period, Daughter #2 came down with the Croup.  This time I knew what to do without going to the Emergency Room.  Luckily.  But this is so not fun!

So far, Daughter #3 is somewhat safe.  Although she has horrible nasal congestion.  And when her breathing becomes labored, we go and stand in the steamy shower for five minutes so that she can breathe.  I cannot bear to stick her head in the freezer after the steam.  So I just let the cool humidifier blow air on her.  She is just one week old at this time.  She is on the verge of becoming ILL.  So I am doing everything I can to prevent a full blown case of RSV or Croup or whatever other illness we could possibly catch. 

And three days later after Daughter #2, my mother comes down with the FLU.  The adult version of the Croup -- which is what I had. 

The only Flu escapee is my husband who was currently working out of town!!

We spent the first two weeks of baby girl #3's life -- fighting the FLU. 

The only positive aspect of this situation was that I lost all plus more baby weight in 5 days.  I packed up the maternity clothes on day 7 when I could slip into all my prepregnancy clothes.  So for me, nursing doesn't take off the baby weight  -- it was the FLU -- compliments of my hospital visit.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

There's no red hair

I was expecting red hair. 
There is not one red strand.
There is, however, an extraordinary amount of hair.  Black hair.
Long black hair.

Blue eyes.
Blue for now.  Blue forever?

Ten tiny fingers.
Ten tiny toes.

Lanky arms and legs.  Yes, even at birth she has a lankiness about her.

In my August 5th ultrasound I had the tech check one last time for gender.  It was still a girl.  I did not want to be surprised at the last minute.  After the third and final push, I did ask if she was still a she because I was too tired to deal with that kind of "mistake". 

Beautiful soft red skin.  No jaundice.  Ever.  First two babies had a lot of jaundice... and pretty olive/yellow skin.

Eyebrows and eyelashes are very light brown... maybe even a tinge of auburn. 

Oh... and the NOSE. 
Have I mentioned the NOSE?
Have you seen the NOSE?
It was truly a sight those first couple of weeks.  A really big prominent nose.  A nose set in the middle of a very fine featured tiny itty bitty face.  My husband blamed it on my French/American Indian side.  I claimed it was from his Polish/Croatian side.  Poor Girl -- she got the NOSE.  And she is slowly growing into the NOSE.  I immediately set up a "Rhinoplasty" fund.  She has my blessing.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

A Birth Story

The entire moment happened so quickly that I still cannot grasp that it currently is in the past -- by almost six weeks.  The miracle feels like yesterday. 

Our summer joke for 2010 was a reminder of the big event of 2009 on the first day of school for Victoria.  Daughter #2 unintentionally chose that day and hour -- moments before our departure to school -- to fall and cut her forehead open; requiring immediate sutures and consequently, a yellow tardy slip.  UGH.  What a memory!  Therefore, all summer we joked that the first day of school 2010 would arrive and so would BABY GIRL #3 !! 

And SHE did !!

Like an omen.  Or an "abracadabra" moment.  Or an illusion.  Or ESP.  Or telepathy.  Or witchcraft.  Or God. 

On Wednesday morning, August 11, a mommy friend from gymnastics inquired about my upcoming due date.  Although, I had only gained eleven, yup -- 11, pounds my pending due date still looked like it was two or three months away.  Like in October.  But no, I have had enough of this hot Texas heat.  I feel done.  Anyway, I sarcastically replied, "Tomorrow!  August 12th is my official due date but what baby appears on their chosen date?"  I had absolutely NO SIGNS of delivering by tomorrow.  No contractions.  No pains.  Nothing.  In fact, I had an appointment and ultrasound scheduled for August 13.  The doctor was going to pick an induction date. 


At 6:00pm, I took the girls for an evening swim to cool off since the temperatures were hovering in the low 100's for days.  Evenings were a crisp 95 degrees.  We swam.  We played.  We splashed.  I was growing irritated and tired.  I wanted to go inside to cool off in the 80 degree air-conditioning. 

At 7:45pm, we finally retreated to the air-conditioning.  The girls were getting ready for bedtime.  My husband had just arrived home from work.  Without his wedding band.  Another story, his side, for another time.  Fortunately, I was fatigued. 

At 8:00pm, I started to question my 6 bathroom trips (in the past 15 minutes) ... surely I did not ingest that much pool water.  I haven't had a glass of water since 6:00.  What is going on??  

At 8:05pm, I hunt my mother down as I am gushing water.  My two prior pregnancies resulted in scheduled inductions.  I had never gone into natural labor before.  My water has only been broken by my doctor while lying in the delivery room.  I ask my mother what she thinks is going on.  She thinks my water is broke.  But where is the plug?  Where is the other stuff?  Where is the bloody show?  Where are the contractions?  I don't bloody know (or care) because I didn't have any warning sign at all !!

Of course, I am NOT ready... I have been procrastinating!  I had all of my hospital supplies in a general gathering area.  But nothing was organized or packed. 

So what do I do?

At 8:15pm, I advise my bandless husband to pack a bag for himself because I think my water has busted.  By now, I am quite sure because I am in the bathroom every 30 seconds.  The girls are crying in panic ... Victoria because her first day of school is in the morning.  That is one thing I do have ready!!  And Petra is crying because her big sister is crying. 

I jump in the shower to rinse off the chlorine, SPF 50 and Cutter OFF.  I even blow dry my hair and throw in some hot rollers.  Because, damn it, these hospital photos are going to be "CUTE".  The photos with baby #2 are hideous because I was vomitting until she graced us with her presence!  So, in reality, I do not have photos of delivery #2. 

After showering, I prepare my "hospital favors".  My mother keeps humming (or it is possibly a hissing sound) under her breath that I should probably get to the hospital.  I did not have any contractions yet and I reminded her that I have 23 more hours to deliver a baby due to the broken amniotic sac.  But my goal was to be at the hospital by 10:00pm.

By 9:30pm, I am finally getting around to "packing" my bags.  The ones that should have been packed last month.  And the contractions start.  Ooooh, seems like they are coming quite frequently, not the 20 minutes or 15 minutes apart -- more like every 10 minutes.  A hard one.  A soft one.  A hard one.  A soft one. 

At 9:48pm, we depart.  The hospital is only a 6 minute drive at night.  We finally get to drive the hospital route that we mapped out eight years ago (for baby #1).  The front doors are still open but they will lock at 10:00pm and then we would have to arrive at the Emergency Room Entrance and walk to the other side of the hospital.  And who wants to do that?  Besides, I have to stop every three and a half minutes because the contractions are coming fast and hard. 

At 10:10pm, we arrive on the second floor in the labor/delivery area.  We are shown to a room and I am told to get into bed.  It feels much better standing and walking then lying in bed with back pain and contractions.  A nurse arrives at 10:30pm to check my progress.  I am hooked up to monitors and my blood pressure is climbing.  Contractions still every 3 minutes... and dilation is 6. 

At 11:00pm, dilation is 7. 

At 11:30pm, dilation is 8, the doctor has been called but he won't arrive for another 30 minutes.  (Something about delivering another baby via c-section).  So the nurse brings me Demerol.  The pain meds flow into the IV.  Ahhh.  Don't know how or why... but I fall asleep.  Into a deep sleep.  Like a weird dream state of sleep -- the kind of weird dreams you have when you eat too much before bed.  So, I believe this dream was the result of too much Demerol before bed.  I was in a foreign market with winding alleys and ... I have had this dream before.  I just cannot figure out where I am.  Or IF I have been there before.  I know it so well...

Anyway, sleep.

At 12:30am, the nurse tries to wake me.  My eyes are glued tightly shut.

At 1:00am, the nurse returns and I still cannot manage to open my eyes.

At 1:10am, the nurse is still hovering over my head demanding that I wake up.  God, I make a bad drunk (or is it a cheap drunk?).  I was slurring my words.  That demerol is some strong shit.  I haven't been that drunk since July 9th, 1988.  (Another story for another time-- it's the day I stopped drinking.  Seriously.)

Nurse:  "You need to PUSH"! 
Me:  "Push what?" 
Nurse:  "It's time to PUSH".
Me:  "I didn't push your call button, I am sleeping here."
Nurse:  "The doctor is here."
Me:  "Husband, are you awake?  Can you bring the camera?  They want me to push -- something about  having a baby now."
Nurse:  "Let's go!"
Me:  "I'm really tired -- can you just pull her out?"
Nurse:  "Push, I said."
Me:  "No, really, can you just use some forceps or something?"
Nurse:  "NOW"
Me:  One push.
Nurse:  "Another one."
Me:  "Is she out?"
Nurse:  "NOW"
Me:  Second push.
Me:  "Does she have hair?"
Nurse:  "Another one."
Me:  "Just pull her the rest of the way. I want to go back to bed."
Nurse:  "NOW"
Me:  Third push.
Me:  "Are we done?"
Nurse:  makes this guffallowing sound.  {yes, I made that word up... but that is what it sounded like to me}
Me:  "I'd like to go back to bed now".


Alexandra Pearl
12 August 2010
1:27 am
7 pounds, 7 ounces
20 inches

PS        Pearl (or Perle) is a French Family name ... my grandmother.  And my other grandmother and special great aunt share a name that has the meaning "Pearl".  
PPS      My blood pressure remains a medical issue... pregnancy-induced hypertension.
PPPS    Baby is healthy
PPPPS  Husband was home for the birth of baby girl #3.  However, he did leave four days later and worked out of state for the following two work weeks. 

Monday, September 20, 2010

It's alright, It's okay Mondays

It's Alright, It's Okay

... to repeat, repeat, repeat - even if you just repeated

 ... to tell your mother that her driving sucks

... to want something you cannot have (whatever your vice may be)

... to undress in the dark (even when you are alone)

... to vacuum in your undergarments (even when you are not alone)

... to read the comics first

... to enjoy Saturday morning cartoons (while ironing)

... to eat ice cream before dinner

... to need something you totally do not need

... to wish you were back on the island of Hvar

Saturday, September 18, 2010

whirlwind tour

I have passed the one month mark...
And I am sliding into the six-week base.
My hormones are ALL over the place.
My memory is GONE.
Blogging has definitely taken a vacation - at least, a backseat in a very long extended cab.
My thoughts are all over the board - or universe.

Kind of like the song "Hot n Cold" by Katy Perry {Which I seriously think -- in my manic self delusion grandiose state -- she wrote for me, seriously!!}

You... change your mind (because it is my prerogative)
Like a girl... changes clothes (have you seen my three girls' closets??)
Yeah you... PMS (hell yes! Because it is EXPECTED so why not use it?)
Like a bitch... I would know (not really, but I'll run with it!)
And you... over think (because I have way too much time on my hands... or because I'm female?!)
Always speak... cryptically (because I do live in "missy-land" and it is a great place to be)

I'm hot then I'm cold because my post partum state seems to have thrown my elderly body into menopause
I'm yes then I'm no because flakiness is symptomatic and habitual
I'm in then I'm out because have you seen my belly button??
I'm up then I'm down because I'm up then I'm down because I'm on a hormonal wave of ebbs and flows
He's wrong then I'm right because... just because!
I'm black then I'm white because there is just too much gray area to wade through

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Monday, September 13, 2010

It's alright, It's okay Mondays

It's alright, It's okay

... to admit that you do NOT text (even if you are the ONLY one)

... to NOT wear your wedding ring (but not okay for HIM)

... to invest in teeth whitening AFTER your supply of RED wine is depleted

... to still believe in fairy tales

... to go on a diet after the last bite of JUNK FOOD has been swallowed

... to have more than ONE junk drawer

... to want more "ME" time

... to call a friend "JUST BECAUSE" you have not heard their voice in a long time

Monday, September 6, 2010

It's alright, It's okay Mondays

It's alright, It's okay

... to pluck your gray hairs (wherever they may be?!)

 ... to have a body distortion issue (these jeans aren't tight, it's the new style)

... to have rubbing thighs once in a lifetime

... to be grandiose and think you are "wonder woman"

... to think riding 6 miles on a bike is a BIG deal

... to have toys strewn all over a dirty house

... to love watermelon with a fork and not your hands

... to suck at air hockey