Fire Engine 26

You know who you are!

I was on my front porch yesterday when you all (four firemen and a truck) were out for a morning drive. 9:45 am to be exact!

You were braking to a stop at the four-way sign. My house is on the corner. On the left. Yes, that was me.

I was standing on top of a three-step stool wearing a YELLOW bathing suit. Yes, still ME! I was watering the hanging baskets and washing the entry windows. REMEMBER?

I saw your truck approaching, so I sucked in my 'post-baby' gut and posed really sexy while perching and stretching upward on top of the step stool. (Approximately 36 inches off the cement ground.) Thought I might turn your head?!

Suddenly, I lost my balance and tumbled HEAD-FIRST into the shrubs off the porch (36 inches plus 18 more porch height inches), falling 54 INCHES!

DID IT NOT OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE I NEEDED HELP OUT OF THE PRICKLY BUSH?? DID IT NOT OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE I NEEDED RESCUING?? DID IT NOT OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE I DROPPED MY PHONE IN THE HEDGE AND I NEEDED TO RETRIEVE IT??

AND, you all just sat and stared (and probably laughed). Your time limit had clearly EXPIRED at the STOP SIGN!

And, by the way, I AM OKAY! I AM NOT INJURED! (although my pride is!) I WAS JUST CHECKING THE HEIGHT AND DENSITY OF THE SHRUBS!! (YES, I WAS!) OH, AND RETRIEVING MY PHONE!!! (YES, I REALLY WAS!)

Something to consider...

Fire drills are necessary. Children practice drills at school. But what about an emergency planning of a fire drill at home?

We have smoke alarms mounted in every corner of our home. Hopefully, someone in the household will hear one of them! Because IF I cannot awake to an alarm clock, or five, then I surely will not awake to a smoke alarm. I do not even hear them.

One night in my college dorm room, the fire alarm went off at three o'clock in the morning. My roommate insisted I get up. Sleepily, I rolled over and stated the obvious, "Hit SNOOZE". I think roommate pushed me out of the bunk. Because I eventually made it outside into the bitter temperature of twenty degrees. We cannot burn out here in a three foot snowbank.

We barely have an escape route planned for our home. I have told the children to just get outside. Jump out your windows. Luckily we reside in a one story. And IF you do not know where to go... go to the pool. The water will keep you safe until you are rescued.

My life flashes before my eyes - the good, the bad and the questionable. A fire. We will burn. I must plan an escape. I have some redeeming to do before 'that' day arrives.

I hear the searing of flames, the burning, ravaging fire offers its condolences:
STOP DROP AND ROLL WON'T WORK IN HELL!