I was on my front porch yesterday when you all (four firemen and a truck) were out for a morning drive. 9:45 am to be exact!
You were braking to a stop at the four-way sign. My house is on the corner. On the left. Yes, that was me.
I was standing on top of a three-step stool wearing a YELLOW bathing suit. Yes, still ME! I was watering the hanging baskets and washing the entry windows. REMEMBER?
I saw your truck approaching, so I sucked in my 'post-baby' gut and posed really sexy while perching and stretching upward on top of the step stool. (Approximately 36 inches off the cement ground.) Thought I might turn your head?!
Suddenly, I lost my balance and tumbled HEAD-FIRST into the shrubs off the porch (36 inches plus 18 more porch height inches), falling 54 INCHES!
DID IT NOT OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE I NEEDED HELP OUT OF THE PRICKLY BUSH?? DID IT NOT OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE I NEEDED RESCUING?? DID IT NOT OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE I DROPPED MY PHONE IN THE HEDGE AND I NEEDED TO RETRIEVE IT??
AND, you all just sat and stared (and probably laughed). Your time limit had clearly EXPIRED at the STOP SIGN!
And, by the way, I AM OKAY! I AM NOT INJURED! (although my pride is!) I WAS JUST CHECKING THE HEIGHT AND DENSITY OF THE SHRUBS!! (YES, I WAS!) OH, AND RETRIEVING MY PHONE!!! (YES, I REALLY WAS!)
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