Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Wednesdays at Walmart = FUN

ONLY because I arrived at WalMart at 7am.  Yes, in the morning!  I finally got BINGO at 8:29am! 

Thank you to the last WalMart patron! 

Unfortunately for me... I actually knew the BEARDED WOMAN. 

So, yes, confession time, I pretended that I didn't see you.  Yes, YOU.  And YES, it was ME.  AND Yes again, I purposely dropped my grocery bag and spent an inordinate amount of time picking up my private (now public) products. 

You see, you are one HAIRY FUNdamentally ILL woman growing a FUNdass FUNgus.  And YES, I was avoiding you.  Because EVERY time I meet your acquaintance, I have to hear how GREAT you are.  It's rather ANNOYING!  Deeply annoying.  I'd rather have my toenails removed.  

Do you exploit your latest surgery for awe?  for envy?  for jealousy?
Is it to feel secure by letting people think you have money?? 
Is it to gain compliments?  Like anyone is going to say, "Wow, what a waste of twenty grand!"  "Did it work?"  or "I can't tell the difference!" 
Your gasbagging SCREAMS "LOSER"!  Please STOP!

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