Sunday, June 12, 2011

does this count?

If I find a dog, can I take it home without checking in with the other head of household?
If I find a cat, can I take it home?

Is finding the same thing as "seeking"?

Can I seek out a dog to take home and just pretend that I "found" it?
Can I seek out a cat to take home and just pretend that I "found" it?
Does the same "theory" apply to "finding" a cute pot-bellied pig? 

What about rescuing an animal?  I am totally for saving an animal!!
Can I pretend that I "found" a rescue animal although money was involved in the exchange of ownership?  Plus a vet check up, a microchip, heartworm pills and spaying/neutering were included in the exchange.

Imagine my surprise when my daughter received a pet for her birthday.  I was so excited.  Excited for her.  A pet of her very own.  A gift.  A thoughtful gift.  A fun gift!  Did I mention how excited I was when she was given a pet!!!???

What a great opportunity!  A great way to receive a puppy or a kitten!  I did not even have to pretend to find, seek, hunt down, rescue or buy a pet that is clearly unwanted by another head of household (only because he knows he will be on Poop-Duty for the rest of his life)!!!

So, hours after my daughter was informed that she was the new owner of a new and cuddly pet... she finally received her pet.

giver:  "I sure hope you like fish."
me:  "Of course, we like fish.  We eat fish 4 to 5 times a week:  white fish, red fish, pink fish, shellfish, ...  all kinds of fish."
giver:   "HUH???"
me:  "We just love fish!"
giver:  "Well, I kind of mean... do you like fish?"
me:  "UMMMM, yes, duh, we love fish."
giver:  "I kind of mean... do you like fish for pets?"
me:  "real ones???"
giver:  "yes, duh!!!"
me:  "real ones???"
 And you should have seen my expression!
giver:  "I bought this cute betta fish for your daughter."
me:  "Is it alive?"
me:  "Where do I keep it?"
giver:  "Yes, it is alive.  You keep it anywhere you would like."
me:  "The toilet?"
giver:  "HUH???"
me:  "No, really, where is the cute puppy?  or kitty?  or shetland pony?  really, we can have one of those at home."
giver:  "HUH???"
me:  "damn, damn, damn, damn.  no puppy.  no kitty.  no shetland pony."

giver:  "Here, birthday girl, this is your new fish.  He is so happy to be in your home now."
daughter:  "Yeah!  My fish!"
giver:  "What will you name him?"
daughter:  "damn, damn!"

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