My Mornings; 5 - 9 am

Unfortunately, I have learned to become a morning person.  For 38 years, I was a night person.  And then I married the 'love of my life morning person' and became a mom to more 'little morning people'. 

The cats go out for their morning carousing at 4AM.  They return about 5AM, depending on the weather conditions and temperatures.  Most mornings upon their return, the cats bring home a surprise.  This surprise could be a cockroach, a gigantic moth, any other bug or insect, a bird, a squirrel, a mouse, a rat, or a snake. 

Lately, it is garden snakes.  They love to bring these snakes home.  ALIVE. 

{ALIVE, because that is part of the game we play every single day - "CATCH THE CRITTER"!}

Recently, the cat snuck back in the house before 5AM and brought a playdate.  A visitor.  However, this particular playdate did not want to play "TAG" any longer and he took off to start his own game of "HIDE AND SEEK". 

I was not quite bright eyed and bushy tailed at 4:40AM... so I missed the game of "TAG".  Apparently, I also missed the game of "HIDE AND SEEK".

Later on, I decided to do a load of laundry.  DARKS.  I picked up the load from the basket (that was sitting on the floor), threw it in the washing machine, poured in detergent and other harsh chemicals, pushed START, heard the rinse cycle, the spin cycle, and the final beeper. 

I started to throw the load into the dryer when I noticed a string had come out of a jacket or shorts or something.  I reached in to grab the string.  And since it is now 5:33AM, my coffee has kicked in and my eyeballs have been pried open. 

Good Lord, Mother of Mercy, Praise Jesus, Holy Shit ...

I washed a snake.

I wish I could say I didn't have a full load and that I have taken up snake-washing in all my free time.  When his friends see him back in the garden, all squeaky clean and shiny, his friends will be lining up for this new snake spa treatment!

PS  For all you PETA people, this was an accident.  I do not participate in snake washing.  Snake handling.  Snake anything.  And the snake survived the washing!  He is happy to be back in his garden hole.

La Cucaracha Hunters

We live in the south and have bugs as large as the state of Texas itself. Bugs that I have never learned to accept. Bugs that I have never grown accustomed to. Bugs that I despise. Of those bugs, La Cucaracha (the cockroach) is the worst!

We adopted two cats last year in a delusional state of being petless. Kittens are so cute and fuzzy and furry and sweet and cute (again). Then you bring them home...

Our cats love to hunt anything... geckos, ants, flies, mice, snakes, birds, squirrels and cockroaches.

We have never housed so many critters as we have in the past fourteen months. I spend every bloody morning chasing critters around the house -- trying to remove them from the indoor premises. The cats are quite humane as they ALWAYS bring the critters home ALIVE. So for three hours every morning, I fly around the house on a broom shooing birds (yes, witchlike). Sweeping snakes. Catching geckos. And running from squirrels and mice.

The cockroaches are carried in via cat mouth. Cat #1 holds the cockroach in its mouth, runs into the house, locates ME, and deposits the roach at my feet (alive, of course).

First, I wonder, why ME? Why not husband? Children? Neighbor? Why do I get the prize?

Next I think, I thought there weren't anymore cockroaches in a three block radius of our house. Didn't the cats already catch them all and bring them home?

So, this morning, I woke up to Cat #1 standing above me with a cockroach being deposited next to my head. No need for an alarm this morning. I jumped out of bed and started wailing.

"Are you going to help me out? Or should I just run the vacuum and wake up the rest of the house?" It is only 5:45 am.

And so I begin to sing, in my loud tone-deaf voice, at 5:46 am.

La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
The cockroach, the cockroach,
ya no puede caminar
can't walk anymore
porque no tiene, porque le falta
because it doesn't have, because it's lacking
las dos patitas de atrás.
its two back feet.

Fort Worth Serengeti

I keep checking the endless plains that lay beyond my back window. I keep hoping to see a wildebeest or zebra wander into view and drink from the pool...

But all I see are creatures that don't belong anywhere except my backyard, of course.

(photos by melissa, above: at fossil rim (animal park), below: backyard)