Out to Lunch

Hurry.  Hurry.  Hurry.
Always in a rush.
Rushing for nothing, really.

Anybody else have those kind of moments?

After school, we were in a "rush" to start and complete homework.  We were in a hurry to start, complete, and eat dinner.  We were in a rush to finish a project.  To do dishes.  To make lunches. 

My daughter unpacked her backpack and brought me her lunch box.  I checked it.  Pretzels left over from today's lunch.  Check.  Water bottle replaced with a new water bottle.  Check.  I put the lunch box in the refrigerator.  To get it off the counter and out of the way.  And there it stayed.

Daughter:  "How was your day?"
Me:  "Busy.  And yours?"
D:  "Do you really want to know how my day was?  Because I am tellling you that it was great until 11:45am.  And do you want to know why it was horrible after that?"
Me:  "Wellllll...."
D:  "I'll tell you why.  BECAUSE I'M STARVING.  I MEAN REALLY STARVING.  LIKE SUPER, SUPER HUNGRY!" 
Me:  "Oh no!"
D:  "I wondered why my lunch box was so light.  I had no idea what was going on."
Me:  "It's an early April Fools!"  ha ha ha.  "Thank goodness you had pretzels and water still in there."
D:  "My friends couldn't believe their eyes.  How embarrassing!"
Me:  "You could have at least eaten your pretzels!"
D:  "I couldn't eat after looking inside my empty lunch box."

double. Or plus one?

I really really suck at my part-part-part-time job.

I am never punctual.
I am never consistent.
I am never remembering.

Being a "Tooth Fairy" is tough!!

My daughter has lost 5 teeth in three weeks.  Who does that?  And what does she have -- "Super Teeth"?  Or is it just a test of the reality of the "Tooth Fairy"?

OK, I know, being a "Tooth Fairy" is not difficult.  Actually, it's quite easy.  You wait until the newly detoothed child is asleep.  You slip into their room.  You grab the tooth.  And replace it with the monetary gift of choice. 

So, HOW can I possibly mess this job up ... each and every time??

1.  Totally forgot about the tooth.  Even though it was pulled at the Dentist office less than 6 hours ago. 

2.  The tooth fairy forgot again.  Tooth Fairy slipped money under pillow during breakfast.

3.  Tooth Fairy went to bed and never woke up ... until she heard the "SHE FORGOT AGAIN" scream at 6 o'clock in the morning.  Tooth fairy came the next evening.

4.  Tooth Fairy remembered the MONEY.  But she forgot to take the tooth.

5.  Tooth Fairy took the tooth but forgot the money!  She needs to revisit.

In our house, we have a tooth fairy rule that was established at the very beginning... 5 years ago.  "IF the TOOTH FAIRY doesn't come, then she brings DOUBLE the next night."  

So that brings us to the fifth tooth...
And that brings me to my question:
If the detoothed child receives one dollar, and the tooth fairy forgets one night, then the following night she brings two dollars.  But what is the amount to be received if the tooth fairy forgets to visit on the second night?  Does she double the two dollars, now making four dollars for the third night?  Or does she just add one dollar, making three dollars for the third night?  I know how to double.  But does an eight year old? 

Let's vote:
A.  Four Dollars    or      B.  Three Dollars

I now propose a toast to all past, present, and future "Tooth Fairies".    Because being a tooth fairy is tough!
And financially draining, in my situation!

wacky wednesday waffs - my all time favorite

wacky wednesday waffs

Go and get yourself a bottle of wine.  Hurry, it is exactly:  1-11-11 at 1:11 a.m.

And open a second bottle of wine on 1-11-11 at 1:11 p.m.

{Pause "Days of Our Lives" and ... oh, wait a minute!  I realized it was the wrong year AFTER the second bottle of wine.  At least, I didn't remember before the first bottle was tapped.}

HaPpY fErMeNtInG dAy!

wacky wednesday waffs

Now that the holiday season is officially over, I say, "Screw the New Years Resolution"!

wacky wednesday waffs

My New Years Resolution:  MORE LAUGHTER! 

Screw fine lines.

I am looking forward to craters!

Oh, and new panties!

wacky wednesday waffs

To honor and cherish the upcoming holiday:

wacky wednesday waffs

wacky wednesday waffs

Happy December 1st

Hope your 1st of December is extra sweet!

And as the old cliche goes:  ONLY 24 more shopping days til Christmas!

December also means that we are on the downhill slide to an end of another year.  2011 will be closing another chapter in everyone's personal book of life.  I want to cherish the memories.  The laughter.  The love.  Because in 20 years time, I don't know if I will remember the "little things" that make each day special.  And frankly, that makes me want to cry.  The kind of crying that can only make one look absolutely and dreadfully UGLY. 

So, there are also plenty of moments I don't want to remember either or for you to remember.   Like the time I had surgery.  Three surgeries, to be exact.  Just 6 weeks ago.  Three incisions.  This was so NOT elective.  I had two hernia repairs and another prolapsed something or other.  For some unknown reason, my 45 minute surgery was 180 minutes in length.   And my wakeup was not easy.  In fact, I did not want to wake up.  The recovery nurse spent five hours trying to get me to wake-up and go home.  Apparently, I had overstayed my welcome.  Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that I only slept three hours the night before surgery.  I sure was tired! 

Now that I am somewhat healed.  I ventured out on a 5K with my family.  The Turkey Trot was a great way to begin the Thanksgiving holiday -- running before a day of feasting.  It was a beautiful morning and I believe that is what the other 11,995 people were thinking too as they donned their running shoes.  The crowd!  I don't believe the streets in my city are wide enough for that many people.  Perhaps, 2000 runners wore chips to actually try and compete... while the other 10,000 runners were just there for the *fun*.

At the race's end, my darling husband and elated eldest daughter were waiting for me and my two riding littles to cross the *finish* line. 

Me:  "How did you do?"

DH:  "We did okay, but there were a lot of people to *run* around?  How was your run?"

Me:  "I don't know... WHY don't you try SHOVING 120 POUNDS UP SIX HILLS?  Oh, and did I mention that the front wheel sprung off its quick release hinge and I had to carry the wheel while balancing those 120 pounds of children and stroller?"

Other than the mishaps and the hills, it was a great run.  Luckily, the endorphins were kicked in and I was just happy!  And then the results:  My eldest placed in her age group.  I am so proud of her. 

wacky wednesday waffs

wacky wednesday waffs

give.thanks.seven

Today I am thankful for sounds.  The gift of hearing.  Selective or Not. 

*I am thankful for the humming of purrs. 

*The gentle breathing of children and pets. 

*The music streaming from the radio.  Well, preferably my radio and not the radio of the car who is three lanes over.

*The ringing of the telephone.  The consistent tone that reminds you to give a silent nod of thanks to Alexander Graham Bell.  With all the texting going on, one can forget to be thankful for the simple non-ring-tone telephone rings.

*The familiar sound of the garage door opening.  It tells me that my husband is home.  Family time begins.  The memories flow as we sit down to dine together and share our day.  I am thankful for the garage doors.  And particularly thankful that I have only hit two out of three. 

*The pitter patter sound of rain on the rooftop. 

Today, I am thankful.

Only two more days until Thanksgiving Day!
And only three more days until BLACK FRIDAY!!
{Is your shopping list ready?}

give.thanks.six

Because life is so busy ... and my kitchen floor ALWAYS has *stuff* on it from every meal, every in-between meal, every pre-meal and every post-meal.  I am THANKFUL for SWIFFER.  The quicker mopper.  Because God and I know that it is impossible to spend three hours thoroughly-on-my-hands-and-knees mopping every day!

One day, not that long ago... I used 24 Swiffers in one mopping.  Is that a record?  It should be a record!!  It's not like I used 24 Swiffers in an entire 5,000 square foot, all-tiled, home.  It was in ONE room; the kitchen, with 24 Swiffers, and the Mother. 

{CLUE should have a new domesticated theme for MOMMIES!}

I am also thankful for the smooth, rich, creamy, warm taste of Nestle Hot Chocolate.  Hot Chocolate is a great beginning to any day.  Add a handful of mini marshmallows.  Ahhh!  Perfect.

GU is a great addition to any length of run.  GU gets me through when my legs feel like running home.  And my feet grow heavy.  And my knees start shaking.  And my lungs are exhaling faster.  And my head shouts NO.  But remember:  It's the run that counts!  A run to start your day.  Or evening.  I am thankful for GU! 

I love LED.  Love, love, love.  LED lights up my life!  These wireless LED portrait lights are a fantastic invention.   No more cords hanging above/below your beloved portraits or paintings or pictures.  {I found these on Amazon.com!!}  I am thankful for LED. 

And I am thankful for Kayak.com.  They are so sweet to send enticing travel adventures to my *inbox*.  Adventures I consider, contemplate, and dream about.  Did you know I can fly to Madrid for roughly the same price that I can fly to Milwaukee??  Madrid is sounding like an excellent travel destination.  I love Madrid.  Hmmm.... maybe I can take my daughter to Madrid for her birthday?!   And as a close second, Milwaukee would be *fun* too!

give.thanks.five

Giving thanks. 
There may be days that it seems difficult to come with just one reason to be thankful.  Especially if a person is going through a difficult time.  A death?  An illness?  A divorce?  A funk?  A depression?  A hangover?

Or perhaps a dryspell.  Anonalcoholickindofdryspell.

So for day 5, I give thanks for laughter.   The sound of laughter.  The teary-eyed-effects of laughter.  The look of laughter. 

A:  What are you wearing?
B:  Shorts.
A:  What kind of shorts are those?  A brown kind?
B:  They are shorts.
A:  The UGLY kind?
B:  What?
A:  Well, they sure are AWFUL?
A:  Is AWFUL a naughty word?  Can I use that word?
***
B:  These shorts are also called 'hand-me-downs' AND you will see these in your room someday.

My youngest started walking at a very young age.  10 months.  Fluent walking.  And we find her in the strangest places on an hourly basis.  The bathroom sink.  The desk top.  The cat tower.  The fireplace hearth.  The beds.  The workbench.  The patio table.  The mini trampoline which is on top of the patio table (we moved it up there so the littlest little would not be tempted to jump on it after she escaped through the cat door).  And we laugh.  And take photos.

And if finding humor is a bit of a chore today... watch TV... the laugh tracks may MAKE YOUR DAY!!

HAPPY DAY FIVE OF GIVING THANKS!
FIND THE PIECE OF HUMOR IN YOUR DAY TODAY!!

wacky wednesday waffs

give.thanks.three

Giving thanks for the little things today.  The small things.  The itsy bitsy things. 

The things that matter to you -- and possibly, only you -- nevertheless, they matter.

The quick, natural smile from your child.

The email from a friend, who just wanted to say hello.

The phone call from a cousin, who just wanted to wish you a "happy-anything-kind-of-day".

The muffins from a student who wanted to say "thankful for you...".

The snack from a coworker who just wanted to share (the calories).

The goodnight kiss from your spouse.

The goodnight hugs from your child.

The purr from your feline.

The lick from your canine.

The perfect trash find by the curb.

The "couldn't pass up" bargain while shopping.

The jeans that still fit.

And, giving thanks for even these little things...

The fleas from your neighbor's pet.

The curses from the driver who cut you off.

The driveling blah, blah, blahs from a friend amidst her third divorce.

The coincidence that a cousin married on her father's birthday (apparently she wants to remember that date forever even through her divorce proceedings?!)

The irony that another friend married her second cousin (is that even legal??)

The sarcasm that wants to get the last word.

The unsolicited help from people.

And I am Thankful on Day Three.

give.thanks.one

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, which is coming soon -- I am fairly certain.  Because IF I knew the current date, without having to calculate back to August to get to today, then I would be able to inform you of the 14 days available.

And that brings us to ... TODAY.

Today, I give thanks. 

I am sincerely grateful for MR. CLEAN'S MAGIC ERASER!  Particularly thankful that they arrive in a package of two.  A six-pack would be desirable.  But since a few "6-pack cleaners" are minimally sporting two-packs after bearing children, a "two-pack" is more apropos!  Or could the two-pack symbolize the "one for each hand" cliche?  I wonder...

Mr. Clean has taken up permanent residence in my home -- he resides in a well-appointed closet.  Always within reach.  Always available.

Since Mr. Clean exists and delivers as promised, I am also thankful that my little one only covered 8 out of 323 tiles with a RED SHARPIE!!  Yes, that's ONLY 2% of the flooring.   A small number overall.  And, I am still smiling after this kind of day ... a close your eyes, count to ten, and be grateful kind of day. 

**The best news is that ... I was really growing weary of those tiles.**  

Daylight Savings

DON'T Forget TO Set BACK Your Clocks BY One HOUR! 

We get an extra hour!  Yay!  We deserve that extra hour!  What will you do with your extra hour on Sunday?  Relax.  The gym.  A longer run.  A more time-consuming recipe.  More TV.  A jigsaw puzzle.  A project.  Decorate for the holidays.
The good news is that we get to sleep an extra hour. 
The bad news is that we will have to begin imbibing later on Sunday.

It's Friday!

AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?

And... "WINE O'CLOCK"... sums it up!

Sometimes, "Wine O'Clock" arrives earlier and earlier.  Especially after toddler days that are quite humorous.   And perhaps, a bit draining. 
"No, don't throw my keys in the toilet."
"No, don't scream and point -- use your words (the good words)." 

Although, I think I am being a downer with all the "No Words".  Let's try something new...

"Yes, let's see if the keys will float -- never mind that the remote will no longer work!"
"Yes, let's all scream and point -- I hope it works for me, too!"
"Yes, let's all pull out every single toy in our home and leave them out.  First one to break a leg -- gets ice cream every day for a week!"

Last night, according to my toddler -- any event that happened in the past is announced as last night, at bedtime the toddler decided to experiment with mouth noises.  Loud noises -- like distorted raspberries.  Loud obnoxious blowing bubblish kind of noises. 

After each newly created noise, she would ask, "Daddy, does the kitty like this noise?"
And after each question regarding her noise, Daddy did not respond.  Apparently, he thought that if he did not say anything then she would just stop with the noise making.  However, with this toddler, that does not work.  Because she is like the little energizer bunny... and she will keep going and going and going... until she receives an answer. 

We are up to the umpteenth noise and recurring question, "Daddy, does the kitty like this noise?"

And finally... AN ANSWER:

"NO, NOBODY LIKES THOSE NOISES!" responds Daddy.

{Toddler grew very quiet.  And she quietly said, "But I do!"}

And I laughed.  And laughed.  Because sometimes life is just really funny.  Well, maybe not to everyone...and I suppose you had to be there... but it was really funny.  And I still laugh.  And toddler, she is great at retelling the story!  And I continue to laugh every time she retells the "noise story".