Friday, July 3, 2009

La Cucaracha Hunters

We live in the south and have bugs as large as the state of Texas itself. Bugs that I have never learned to accept. Bugs that I have never grown accustomed to. Bugs that I despise. Of those bugs, La Cucaracha (the cockroach) is the worst!

We adopted two cats last year in a delusional state of being petless. Kittens are so cute and fuzzy and furry and sweet and cute (again). Then you bring them home...

Our cats love to hunt anything... geckos, ants, flies, mice, snakes, birds, squirrels and cockroaches.

We have never housed so many critters as we have in the past fourteen months. I spend every bloody morning chasing critters around the house -- trying to remove them from the indoor premises. The cats are quite humane as they ALWAYS bring the critters home ALIVE. So for three hours every morning, I fly around the house on a broom shooing birds (yes, witchlike). Sweeping snakes. Catching geckos. And running from squirrels and mice.

The cockroaches are carried in via cat mouth. Cat #1 holds the cockroach in its mouth, runs into the house, locates ME, and deposits the roach at my feet (alive, of course).

First, I wonder, why ME? Why not husband? Children? Neighbor? Why do I get the prize?

Next I think, I thought there weren't anymore cockroaches in a three block radius of our house. Didn't the cats already catch them all and bring them home?

So, this morning, I woke up to Cat #1 standing above me with a cockroach being deposited next to my head. No need for an alarm this morning. I jumped out of bed and started wailing.

"Are you going to help me out? Or should I just run the vacuum and wake up the rest of the house?" It is only 5:45 am.

And so I begin to sing, in my loud tone-deaf voice, at 5:46 am.

La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
The cockroach, the cockroach,
ya no puede caminar
can't walk anymore
porque no tiene, porque le falta
because it doesn't have, because it's lacking
las dos patitas de atrĂ¡s.
its two back feet.

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