Thursday, December 3, 2009

Real Life Seinfeld Episode

Anyone remember the "SOUP NAZI" episode? 

It happens.  It's REAL. 

I visited the University Milk Bar (a commie run restaurant) with a very short menu.  A menu for those who know about this type of food.  Cheap food.  Economical food.  Commie rationed food.  Typically anything made with potatoes. 

1.  You enter the Milk Bar in a systematic fashion.
2.  March up to the order counter.
3.  Know your order before standing at the counter.
4.  Grab a tray.
7.  Order.
8.  Sit down.
9.  Sit down at an empty chair at an already occupied table.  Do NOT start a new table.
10.  Pick up order when called.  IF YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THEIR LANGUAGE because no help will be provided.  No eye contact will be made.  No gestures to aide in retrieving your ordered meal. 
11.  Do NOT attempt to pick up your meal earlier.
12.  Do NOT attempt to pick up your meal later.
13.  Be prepared to NOT receive your meal.
14.  Be prepared to be YELLED at by the COOK and Order taker and any other Worker.
15.  Be prepared to be LAUGHED at by other patrons.
16.  EAT quietly and efficiently and neatly IF you receive your order.
17.  Do NOT talk while eating.
18.  Do NOT complain about the food.
19.  Do NOT linger at the Milk Bar.
20.  Dispose of dishes and tray immediately and correctly.
21.  Leave.  Do NOT return to that Milk Bar unless you master the procedures.
22.  Visit a new Milk Bar.

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