Friday, April 9, 2010

But, I'm not crazy ... I'm just a little unwell (matchbox 20)

Sitting here at twenty two plus weeks pregnant at a maternally advanced age (according to the doctors), I was diagnosed with PLACENTA PREVIA at week sixteen. {yes, I am 22+ weeks pregnant in this pic.}

I have had six weeks to make myself completely and totally insane.  I have read as much as I can about this placenta problem.  However, none of it is comforting.  Nor is it mind-easing. 

It is mind-numbing.  Insanity-driving.  Nerve-wracking.  Chaos-ridding. 

I was given the "What to Expect..." for "Placenta Previa".  Not for "When you're Expecting". 

I have been given a rather sketchy timeline of what is to come.  I am looking at about four more weeks of freedom.  Four more weeks to get everything accomplished.  Four more weeks to place my ducks in a row. 

For after four weeks, it is 100% bedrest.  With two children.  one husband.  two furry pets.  no family within a 1500 mile radius.

We are hoping the baby makes it to week 35.  For anything earlier, NICU.  Perhaps, NICU at week 35.  This situation is beyond my control.  Beyond my grasp.  Beyond my "planning".  Beyond my "schedule".   A C-section is planned.  My first.  A blood transfusion/blood drive organization is being set-up. 

So, with every new and waking day, I say a prayer.  A prayer for the baby's safety.  For my safety. 

I have been given the doctor stats: 

1.  Worst case scenario:  I hemorrage to death. 
Not a very comforting thought.  But it is one I must be aware of .  And I am wondering IF I should make provisions for in the event of my death.  However morbid that seems, it is a possibility.  IF I write a living will and make arrangements, THEN if the worst happens -- everyone will say "she knew it was coming because everything is in order".  But IF I don't prepare anything, THEN maybe it won't happen.  You know, the Murphy's Law thing!

2.  I need a hysterectomy post delivery.
At my age, it doesn't register as a worst scenario.  Although, I would like another baby.  :+)

3.  I am hospital-bound with bedrest for the next 15 weeks. 

4.  I am hospital-bound with bedrest for a mere 6 weeks.

5.  C-section. 

6.  NICU

7.  maybe I am one of the fortunate stats that don't require anything but an early delivery at week 36. 

8.  this Placenta Previa, total and complete, clears up before my next ultrasound in three weeks.  Fat chance but not impossible. 

There are so many IFs. 
There are not enough FACTS.
It is driving me CRAZY.

Anyone out there with Placenta Previa???

No comments:

Post a Comment