Monday, April 26, 2010

Dear Readers,

There was a Mommy who got knocked up and
SOBER she became-oh
and *L*A*M*E*-oh was her name-oh!

Is it merely a coincidence, or is it irony, that SOBER contains the acronym S.O.B.? 
For example, "S.O.B.-er, I forgot where I placed my wine glass?"

Dear Readers,
{aka Dear Mom and Dad,}

I apologize for my recent hormonal/emotional/thoughtful/insightful/nice blogs.  It is so "CHICKEN SOUPY FOR THE SAPPY".  It is so unlike me.  It is so unmedicated.  I believe it is menopausal and I see my life flashing before my eyes.  I never dreamed I would be "middle-aged". 

I am totally mellowing out with age. 

And I can prove it:  Daughter #1 arrived into toddler-hood with her first word being SHIT.  It is documented in her babybook as "sit".  "Your first word, 'sit'.  You loved giving commands to your dog, Fluffy."  {now, only IF we had a dog!} 

Daughter #2 arrived into toddler-hood with her first word being BUBBLES.  And it is documented in her babybook accurately as "bubbles".  {now, we will just believe that it was for her love of taking bubble baths or blowing bubbles outside.  However, I believe it had to do with the hops and ale carbonation that she found so appealing in bottles, cans and glasses throughout her days.}

We will anxiously await Daughter #3's first word!

When I lost the use of my two fingers, I was asked to write a meaningful story to be published in "Chicken Soup for the Soul" ... only two bad for me, losing two fingers did not push me over the edge into sentimental sap-ville.  The editors changed my story.  The editors changed my life. 

Just being pregnant pushes me over into craps-ville.  Hmmm... Is there a "Chicken Soup for the Hormonal Soul"??

~ m

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