Saturday, September 12, 2009

Home Maid III

So, there I sat at nine months and 5 days pg. And I had 3 weeks and 2 days to go. For those of you who are clueless or easily misled, pregnancy is 280 days which equals 10 months which means the completion of the ninth month. No, we pregger women don't get to reach the ninth month and rejoice... we have to complete the entire 4 weeks within that month. UGH!

I was still desperately seeking cleaning help. I started perusing classifieds in four different newspapers. I started surfing local classifieds. I called and begged friends. Apparently, nobody likes to SHARE their house cleaner. OR maybe you REALLY don't have one! HA! I even hauled my big belly to the corner and held a big sign that said, "Houseful ... of crap, Please help me clean it!" Nobody called. Well, actually, one person called but since he was already drunk I didn't think that would help my house situation.

Husband arrived at home to more dirt and mess. Surely, he isn't BLIND. Or oblivious. Or POLITE.

I handed him a bucket, sponge, cleaner, toilet brush, more cleaner, rags and a Coors Light.

He incredulously asked, "What's this for?"

"Um, I-dunno, maybe you can wash dishes? Or scrub the pool tiles? Or take one of the bathrooms?

Husband drank Coors. Husband misplaced cleaning supplies. Husband has disappeared.

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