Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Price of Bananas in Fort Worth

A little market background: recently, I am trying to be cost-conscious during my trips to the grocery stores. I have been [self] accused of not understanding the concept of money. I take time to peruse the flyers. I take time to clip coupons. I don't buy many pre-packaged items. Most of my grocery money is spent on fruits, vegetables, beef, chicken and seafood. Frankly, there aren't many coupons for those particular food items. So, I do rely on the weekly flyers for an attempt at saving.

I venture out to Grocery Store A to purchase my weekly fruits and vegetables.

I wonder aloud, "Is there a world banana shortage going on that I missed?" Luckily, shopper A and shopper B chose to ignore me. I continued on...

"Bananas have steadily increased in price. A year ago, I paid twenty-five cents per pound. And then the price jumped to thirty-four cents per pound. And since January, bananas are consistently at fifty-six cents per pound." Still being ignored here...

Just then, I had an epiphany!

I pushed my cart to the front and proceeded with my checkout. Unfortunately, all of the self-checkout lanes were closed this morning. I had to queue in the midst of shoppers A and B, and a new one, C.

I placed my items on the conveyor belt. Friendly Cashier began to scan my purchases.

"You can't do this!" Friendly Cashier announced.

"What?" I innocently asked.

"THIS!!" Unhappy Cashier yelled.

"But I only EAT that PART!!" I insisted.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Angry Cashier stated.

"Look, nobody eats the peels. This way I get more banana at fifty-six cents per pound!!" I intelligently informed said cashier.

"You cannot stand in the produce section at Grocery Store A and peel the fruit. You cannot buy unpeeled bananas or oranges. OR ANY other fruit that you may intend to buy in the future," retorted Obstinate Cashier.

"BUT," I tried to continue ... the Manager was summoned. Perhaps, Manager will see my point. [I was able to get fifteen peeled bananas for two pounds instead of the typical nine bananas. How great was that! Six more bananas! What a Savings!]

"Where are the peels and rinds?" demanded Annoyed Manager.

"Here, under the cart, I was looking for a trash can," I explained.

Irritated Manager grabbed my full bag of peels, placed them on the scale. To cure your curiosity, fifteen peels weighed 1.25 pounds. That is seventy cents! I saved seventy cents! Wait! Grocery Store A is going to charge me seventy cents for PEELS! That's ridiculous! You cannot even eat PEELS!

I huffed. "I am not paying for PEELS!" "Besides your welcome sign says that the customer is always RIGHT!"

"Fine," said Defeated Manager. "However, YOU are no longer welcome to shop at Grocery Store A. Please do not ever come back or try to come back -- we will be watching for you!"

I triumphantly gathered my PEEL-LESS bananas, RIND-LESS oranges, and other food items. I strutted past Shoppers A, B, and C who stood with agape mouths. I smiled. They scowled.

Immediately I called my husband at work, "HEY, I believe our family has been banned from Grocery Store A, if you shop there don't forget to use CASH. They won't recognize you with CASH." I would inform him of the situation later. OR maybe I wouldn't. Because I think Grocery Store A really does not want to see me again.

Moral of the story: DON'T PEEL YOUR BANANAS!
[We had to eat all fifteen bananas within two hours -- before they turned to brown mush.]

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