Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Egg-laying Cow

I find myself in the midst of deciphering definitions of vegetarianism. Which I wouldn't have to do if raw meat didn't make me ill. And sodium-laden restaurant meals didn't make me fat.

A basic Vegetarian lifestyle excludes meats (game, fish, shellfish, and poultry), eggs, dairy and honey.

I am becoming confused. I did not know that there were so many different sub-groups to vegetarianism.

Vegan - for only the extreme with moral conviction. According to real Vegans, I have no morals. I wear leather shoes. I own a leather jacket (although, in Texas, it has only been worn twice). I sleep on down pillows and under a down duvet. I own a piece of illegal ivory. There's an antler chandelier in the formal room. A bear rug lies in the foyer. I carry an alligator handbag. I wear a tortoise hairclip. Yes, a serious lack of morals. A Vegan diet overflows into their lifestyle - it excludes ALL animal products from their life.

Side note: eggs and dairy are TWO different food groups. An Egg-Laying Cow is not the NEW dairy! I know it is confusing! But just remember it this way - WHAT COW LAYS EGGS?

Moving on...

And for those who have to live with a small number of animal products (for consumption and/or materialism possession), we have:

(1) Semi-Vegetarianism includes the consumption of fish and poultry, eggs, and dairy. It excludes meat products.

(2) Lacto-Vegetarianism includes the consumption of dairy but NO eggs. And no meat, fish, or poultry.

(3) Ovo-Vegetarianism includes the consumption of eggs but NO dairy. And no meat, fish, or poultry.

(4) Lacto-Ovo Vegetarianism includes the consumption of eggs AND dairy. But no meat, fish or poultry.

(5) Pescetarianism includes the consumption of seafood. Pesco-vegetarianism is another name for Pescetarianism (Pesce -- derived from the latin word meaning 'fish') although true vegetarians do not like to use this term since it refers to "fish-eating mongers" and they do not want to be associated with those heathens. Pesces do not eat meat, poultry, eggs or dairy.

(6) Flexitarianism. This is a new one for me! I have never heard of it! And, honest, I did NOT make this up! The diet consists of primarily vegetarian foods but allows occasional exceptions.

(7) Sugaritarianism. See yesterday's post. This is my own candy-corn colored dream diet!

"Hi, I'm a Flexitarian. What's your -arianism?"

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