A new line (that may or may not work) ...

I went out for a social fix -- to "Sam's". Not Sam's Club (although I may try that next). But "Sam's" as in a neighborhood pub. A spin off of 'Cheers'. "Sam's" as in the bartender Sam.

I did not have a current sponsor. So, I sat on a stool with my eyes focused on the television. A sporting event. What game? Don't know. What sport? Don't know. Don't care.

A well-dressed, blue-suited man approached my stool. He gazed upward so that our eyes would be fixated on the same program. I continued to sit in silence. He began to fidget. I am a top fidgeter so when someone else becomes the fidgetee, it gives me anxiety.

After what seemed an eternity, blue-suit smiled and commented on the game. My response was blank. Perhaps, I didn't hear him. So, blue-suit spoke louder, "Where are you from?"

"What makes you think I am from somewhere?" I retort.

"Well," he challenged, "you have a tan and people that live here don't go outside."

"First of all, it is not polite to comment on one's ethnicity or skin color. But to address your question, I just arrived from Tokyo." I informed blue-suit.

Blue-suit studied me and brilliantly proclaimed, "Is that SOUTH of here?"

I gasped. He was serious. Yet, (hopefully) intoxicated, thus, botching his intelligence quotient.

I tried to give blue-suit the benefit, perhaps, he was referring to TUCSON.

(In happily ever after, we married three years later)