Sunday, June 7, 2009


I am craving. I am wanting. I am desperate. I am lonely. I am needing. I am wishing. I am hoping. I am desiring. I am detoxing.

Diet coke, people!

It has been six very long hours. Perhaps if I just resort to staying in bed, then the desire will dissipate. Has anyone ever been bed-ridden due to a caffeine-detox?

I admitted myself to the detox house after I found myself rising from a deep sleep at 3:47 am to go and slam an eight ounce Diet Coke (in the dark kitchen, ALONE).

And the day got worse. At 5:56 am, I had my first twelve ounce Diet Coke because I convinced myself that the 3:47 Diet Coke was a "DREAM".

At 10:16 am, I started my list of errands. But before I could REALLY begin, I had to stop at the convenience store for a 32 ounce Diet Coke (because for the next thirty days, the 32 ounce drinks are ONLY 49 cents!). I have a talent for making this large drink last. I took my last sip at 2:37 pm.

At 3:37 pm, I felt as IF I was slipping into a non-caffeinated abyss. I impatiently waited for the craving to fade. I chewed off eight of my ten finger nails. At 5:18 pm, I caved. I opened a twenty ounce bottle of Diet Coke (that I bought at Target on one of my errands -- just in case, but with the sincere thought of drinking it the following day).

By 9:12 pm, I was wired. I ran for an hour on the treadmill. I organized my daughter's birthday photos. I cleaned out the junk drawer (which really isn't a junk drawer because I have OCD). I reorganized the toy box. I mended all the shirts in my pile that had missing buttons. And by 3:33 am, I was finally able to admit that I was tired.

At 6:30 am, a mere three hours later, the children were awake and ready to go for the day. But not ME. I could barely lift one eyelid. I swayed in bed, pondering yesterday's caffeine consumption, when I realized that I have a caffeine hang-over. Total: 72 ounces. That is a hell of a lot of Diet Coke.

If I can make it through today without a single drop of Diet Coke, then I might make it through Detoxification.

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