Monday, April 11, 2011

for the love of...


My day began at 12:16 am.  That's right.  I just couldn't wait to start the week so I started Monday a bit on the early side.  I should clarify, not by choice. 

My middle little woke up vomiting.  Yup, that's right.  Vomiting. 

The good news is that it isn't flu related.  Nor cold related.  Nor virus related.  Whew!

Her illness is garlic-related.

"Poison Control, can I help you?"
"Oh, yes, please.  My daughter drank and ate an excessive amount of garlic."
"Ma'am, can you repeat that please?"
"M y   d a u g h t e r   d r a n k   a n d   a t e   a n   e x c e s s i v e   a m o u n t   o f   g a r l i c."  I repeat.
"Yes, G-A-R-L-I-C."
No response.  So I continued...
"She drank an entire large bowl of what could be called "garlic soup".   So that garlic was cooked.  But she also ate several cloves of garlic while we were gardening."
"Raw garlic?"
"Yes, I plant garlic bulbs next to my freshly planted flowers and vegetables.  It keeps the bugs away.  Apparently bugs do NOT like garlic like we do."
"I need to put you on hold."
"Hold?  What for, I need to know what to do?"
"For garlic poisoning?"
"Yes, for garlic poisoning.  You see, her vomit smells horrible!  She smells horrible.  I can smell her on the other side of the house.  I cannot even hear the phone ring from the other side of the house, but I can smell her.  She SMELLS bad!!!"
---- ON HOLD ----
"Well, garlic is not toxic."
"So, she doesn't have some Toxic Garlic Syndrome?"
"Garlic is really quite healthy in moderate dosages."
"We love garlic here, so what do you consider moderate?"
"One clove at the most -- for each person."
"Well, she must have had 8 or 9 raw bulbs and who knows how much when it was cooked?"
"Like I said, moderation.  All she will have is a very upset stomach.  Please try to give her bland foods over the next 24 hours.  No spices.  No sugar.  Nothing but plain rice.  Or plain potatoes.  PLAIN foods."
"Yes, bland foods, got it.  So, she is okay?  I don't need to take her into the ER to have the rest of her stomach pumped?"

Back to bed with a very smelly garlicky child.  The garlic is oozing out of her pores. 

By 8:00am, middle little has had three showers.  The first shower was at 12:31 am.  And she still stinks.  But, she's clean!

At 8:03am, the phone rings.  It is the pediatrician. 

"Garlic poisoning?" Dr. S bursts out laughing.
"Well, better safe than sorry."  I suggest.
"The poison control has to report the phone call with us.  In case I need to see your daughter for a follow up visit."
"I think we are doing okay.  She just smells soooo bad.  Can I bathe her in tomato juice like you would if you got skunk spray on you?"
"You can try it.   But it will just take time.  Remember, bland foods."
"Yes, I am glad it was just garlic and not lysol."
"Have a great week.  And call us if you need anything."

Off to school...
"Oh, my!" exclaims the teacher.
"Oh, yes, I should warn you that my middle little has an undesirable odor today.  She ate a lot of garlic yesterday.  And, well, now today... she just smells really horrible."
"Well, well, well..."  speechless teacher responds.


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